GIN1976

I screwed things up between my wife and I by going online and talking with people I shouldn't have about subjects I never should have brought up, if you all can follow that. Anyways I've destroyed the bridge of trust between her and I and I can't get it back. I know I hurt her and if I could go back in time I would. But all I can do now is move forward and try and convince her that she is the only one in my life. I don't know if I'm necessarily looking for advice or if I just need to find someone to talk to about this, but my schedule doesn't really allow me the time to visit with a family counselor.

BlueCreek

Well, if I read between the lines correctly, while what you did certainly destroyed the trust you had with your wife, it shouldn't be something you can't recover from, and possibly even create a stronger relationship from. I would highly recommend you swing by your local Borders or B&N as they have a bunch of books to help, and you will get some good advice here, if that is your wish, but if you feel your marriage is in doubt in any way and your wife is hurt enough to consider leaving you, you really need to offer to see a professional counselor with your wife. And if that is the case, saying you don't have the time is not an excuse. If you marriage is in trouble then you find the time, otherwise you're basically admitting your work/schedule is more important to you than your marriage, and I sincerely hope that is not the case. As a general rule, I believe the people that come looking for advice already have the priorities in the proper place.

swedish

It sounds as though she feels very betrayed by your actions. I think you need to figure out what led you to have these inappropriate conversations. Was it for excitement or to vent frustrations about your marriage? (not expecting an answer, but this is what you should ask yourself) She needs to know that you will go to her with issues you are having and work through them as a team, and not look outside the marriage. If she has some reassurance you are open and talking to her about why you betrayed her in this way, it may make her feel less likely that this will happen again.

If you just tell her you messed up and she's the only one, she will have a hard time believing that. She will think obviously she's not and you are only saying that now because you got caught. You need to focus on being patient and understanding of her hurt, in my opinion.