Think and act like a man. They don't think that's the problem. I spend so much time in my day and evening trying to think of ways to make him understand. I don't think my life with him will ever be filled with happiness and that's the bottom line.
you dont realise what youve said. exactly they dont think. so you dont think. just try it for a day. just be nice. talk about weather, simple things. dont row. think mundane issues. ask him how he day was. those type of things.
i do this with my hubby, after a few days my female brain kicks in. because issues like money, kids etc need to be discussed. but by then i find i can do it rationally, rather than gettin myself in a lather.
your right, but he wont understand. hes a man.
but really if you dont think your life with him could be filled with happiness. then your relationship is in a different level.
then its not really , or its more than his lack of understanding.
Perfect example of what frustrates me the most. He is in his own business and it's not doing well. He works for a guy that isn't giving him alot of work and I have been telling him to just look elsewhere. It's summer time the busiest season don't wait till winter and try to get in other places. Well this morning I was telling him about this place looking for help and explaining what he has to do and he was fine with it as long as I was handling it. Well I told him to get in the car and go to the place where I called and speak to the guy in person, well all of a sudden he didn't think it was a good idea anymore. He's like a child and I can't stand it. This week was a total waste of his time. out of 3 jobs he completed one because of ridiculous problems and he doesn't speak up but it's okay for his family to suffer. I feel that as long as he doesn't have to deal with his life in general and I just do it all he's fine. I can't do it anymore I have become tired. I want him to take his part now and I feel it's too late.
then it does not seem that he wants to take part. reading your mail, its like you say , looking after a child. u seem to b doing alot of the work, trying to keep things up and afloat and like you say, you are tired.
yes it does get tiring when your battling your husband for just some common ground.
again from what you say, he seems to lack commitment, or direction.
you help by throwing the ideas, your just doing your best.
but then to me its the women that is the forewoman in the family.
i think with you its just a case of time, how long these issues will continue for and for how long you want to keep saving yourself.
you wil probably come to a point where enough is enough.
you wil distance yourself . maybe then he can see what he is losing.
if he cares enough you can work it through.
but have you not suggested a trial separation.
Yesterday I started looking for an apartment. One day he said he would move out of the house so my daughter can stay here and today he is not leaving I have to leave. I need to stay in my daughters school district, I don't want to pull her out it will be hard enough seperating never mind a new school
When it comes to your daughter you need to keep in mind that she is learning how to have a relationship by watching you and your husband interact. Make sure you handle your life the same way you would want her to. Perhaps you should make an appointment to speak with someone, and ask your husband to join you. Go for a little while on your own, and let him know when and where the appointments are. He may not ever join you, but maybe after a few weeks of letting him know your going he might, if he knows this is the last straw he might come around. I think that he avoids talking to you about the problem because he doesn't want to deal with it, not becasue he doesn't care. Make him deal with it. Talk to someone, and if after a while he never joins you, tell him you need to move on. You need to give your daughter a good role model. Arguing with each other, moving out and back in together, living together but not loving each other ???? I wouldn't want my kids living like that, so don't let them think it's alright, try to make a change with or without him. That is what's best for children, a healthy environment.
I truly don't know if I want to save the marriage, that is something I have to think about. He has so many things that he does and it never changes. I have been doing alot of research on line and I think he has passive aggressive disorder. He fits everything with it. It's so sad but I don't feel bad for him. I have spoon fed him for so many years always with a fight. I will never understand him. He will call me about his work with whatever it is and I will make a suggestion and he will blow up at me and do what he does best yell and scream don't tell him what to do, don't control me I'm not doing that and then maybe one hour or 2 days later he is doing what I suggested. It makes me so mad that I have to go through the yelling and most of the time name calling and then he does what I said to anyway. What the heck is that????? As far as moving my daughter all over and in and out I will never do that. I love her and don't want to make her miserable. I rode around yesterday and looked in newspapers but of course it's either a dump or can't afford. I have 3 little dogs I want to take with me so I have to be patient. I don't want to leave my dogs.
Re: Where to begin
