my man dont want sex

princess · 06-27-2008, 07:51 AM

Hello everyone im new here. So i thought id say hi and hopefully get some advice at the same time.

This is quite embarrassing for me to do this but i just don't know where else to turn.

I have been married since summer 2007 , there has never been any problems with mine and my husbands sex life till now. To put it bluntly he just aint interested. I dont know what has changed, we havent had sex in over a month now. whenever i suggest early nights he all of a sudden get a back ache, ok he has had a bad back for a while but it only seam to hurt when it comes to bed time. iv tryed talking to him about it but he gets all grumpy and says our relationship shouldn't be based on how offtern we have sex, which dosent really say much! Im not some sex mad weirdo but i think its normal to want it from time to time and i think its quite an important part of a relationship.

This is really getting me down, i just dont know what has gone wrong, he tells me he loves me all the time and is affectionate towards me but thats where it ends.

Has any one else ever experienced this? i know plenty of men would have but any women?

any ideas on what could be going on?

draconis · 06-27-2008, 07:58 AM

Many things might be happening.

One his back may hurt just enough or aggravated during sex so that he can't perform.

He might feel ashamed about something including but I am not suggesting an affair.

The best thing to do is to talk to him and get him to open up.

draconis

brenda · 06-27-2008, 11:33 AM

Hi Princess,
You replied to one of my threads, which has given me a little bit of back ground on other parts of your relationship. Do you two seem to be fighting a lot? I know that if my husband and I are having a rough week emotionally, the last thing on our minds is trying to pleasure one another. Is there anything else going on for him right now, (problems at work, with family, friends)

I do agree with Draconis, you should talk to him about how your feeling, just make sure you talk to him when your both in a good mood, it will help the communication flow a little better.

bhappy3 · 06-28-2008, 05:54 AM

Well, in my case, my husband is so absorbed in his hobbies that he just doesn't think about sex. He's always had a low libido, and the hobbies just magnify it. I think his upbringing has A LOT to do with it as well... he was raised mennonite, his dad is dominant, mom is submissive, he feels bad for his mom having to do things that his dad makes her do... I think maybe he doesn't want to be like his dad at all and it's seriously affecting him.

These are just some things I see in my own relationship. I understand what you're going through... sex crazed men saturates our society in everything we do, commercials, billboards, news, talk shows, the list goes on and on and when you have this man who doesn't feel the urges like other men do, you start to feel like something's wrong with him or with you.