Is he interested?

nikon · 08-13-2010, 04:02 AM

I truly believe that when someone is interested they find time for that other person, no matter how busy they are.

I recently met a guy, had one amazing date, now he keeps calling me every couple of days but I have no idea what he is thinking or feeling! Or what he wants from me?

Whenever I try and invite him somewhere... to do something social together he says he is too busy or tired (he does work 7 days a week) but I still feel like he could dedicate some time for me if he really wanted to.

I have no idea what to think. Is he interested or not? Why is he calling? Out of courtesy? Boredom? Because he is too nice to tell me he's not interested? Because he wants to be friends? Because he wants to take things slow? I have no idea.

From my experience, a guy that likes a girl can't wait to see her (even if that means not sleeping at night) but this guy just wants to have a casual phone conversation?! Is he just boosting his ego or what... He surely knows (from all my attention and compliments) that I want to be with him... but he is polite and romantically non-responsive... yet always calls back in a few days. Why?

Do guys play hard to get? Maybe he's taking things easy... Maybe he's just playing a game? Maybe he's scared to make the next step (he separated a year ago and says he hasn't been with anyone since), maybe he wants to know me better... ? I am really puzzled.

Blanca · 08-13-2010, 08:55 PM

Ive never known a guy to do that. I dont really know what he wants, maybe just friends? Its pretty clear he's not that interested in you.

nikon · 08-13-2010, 09:40 PM

Yeah, after so many years of experience with men you can still find men who will completely surprise you with their behaviour. I told him not to call anymore as he's obviously just doing it out of politeness. The dating world is more complex than I thought.

Blanca · 08-13-2010, 09:41 PM

i always thought the dating world was so simple. its marriage that im having a hard time wrapping my head around.

Asmarino · 08-21-2010, 04:10 PM

I think he is interested but as you said he is afraid to go any further due to his previous experience. When I got separated after a short period of married life, I was in a dilemma whether I should ever have a date. I still have that problem. I would like to have a date but still fear it might end up being like the previous one. So your guy could be in the same position. I think you should talk and have a common plan as to where your relationship is heading. If he as no aim, you better leave him to recover.

nikon · 08-22-2010, 09:38 AM

An update on the situation - Despite having the best date of my life with this guy (and him laughing for 2 hours, constantly talking, completely engaged in our conversation, his eyes did not leave mine once) he told me he is not interested. He told me there was "no connection" - which is the lamest thing I've ever heard. He said I had a golden heart and that I was one of the nicest most amazing people he's ever met, smart, etc... but "there was no connection". I think he meant attraction - on his side. But was too polite to say so. I know I am not bad looking, in fact there are 2 guys following me around begging for a date right now, but unfortunately I am obviously not this guy's type. I understand that, but also think he is a bit superficial - and extremely picky (which he admitted to). I feel sorry for him, to be honest. We definitely had a connection but he decided I simply wasn't pretty enough for his standards. I couldn't care less about such superficial people... And as far as our friendship goes, he couldn't bother less, and is not making any effort to stay in touch. He replies if I contact him but keeps a distance... Now I am not even sure I am pretty enough to be his friend?... I decided to try and meet up with him for a friendly chat in the upcoming weeks to asses the situation - if I sense that he is not really interested in staying in touch - I will simply show him the door. He was too good to be true anyway. When things are that good - they are usually not real.

Asmarino · 08-22-2010, 02:24 PM

I think he is confused and probably doesn't know what he is looking for. He will only get older and will never find a person that loves him as you do. Then he will remember all what he has gone through, and regret.

Please move on and forget this man. He is not interested. If you push him too much, it may make you happy for a moment but in the long run you will never be happy (both of you). You deserve to be with someone who loves you (and that you love).

nikon · 08-22-2010, 07:26 PM

Asmarino, thank you! for your kind words. You are absolutely right. I do deserve much better than this. They say there is no such thing as a perfect person, just the perfect timing... I opened my heart to him even though the timing wasn't great - but he is not ready to do the same. I've learned from experience to follow my heart and seize the day, do the best I can in every situation to avoid future regrets. I care about this guy a lot. It's been a while since I felt like this - but love is nothing if it only goes one way. My mum always says everything is good for something - and I am pretty sure there is a guy out there that will love me for more than meets the eye.

nikon · 10-10-2010, 01:34 AM

Just a quick update. This guy turned out to be (literally) a psychopath. I knew he was fake but the reality was far worse. Women, trust your intuition. If a guy seems too good to be true - he is most likely fake.
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