gmad

I am in my 30’s and have a little situation in my hands. I have been dealing with I believe is a mentally abusive wife. She fits the profile that so many women in these discussions have. The main problem is that we are both of strong character, and when we get into arguments, things get heated up and she always threatens to call the cops and make something up. Recently, however she called the police and provided false allegations of strangulation. Now, I’m fighting to keep my job and don’t think I will ever be able to live with her again. I’m in the process of starting counseling and stuck with the dilemma of either filing for divorce or working things out. The only reason I would think of working things out is for the sake of my newborn (5 weeks).

My wife is a really good, down to earth person who has excellent qualities, but at the same time think has some deep underlying issues. I’m just so stressed with what is going to happen to my job (law enforcement) that I haven’t really have time to think about it or just choose not too. I have read many discussions and heard from some many people that I need to look to the future and decide what I’m going to do, then to dwell on the past. I’m just torn apart….

Any suggestions.

Chris Taylor

Was she like this before the baby?

gmad

Yes..she's had an extreme occasion the night before we got married, but blamed it on the alcohol. Started screaming in the hotel room for me to stop hitting her and I was just standing there. I even tried leaving the room and she ripped the shirt off my back and threatened that if I left she would call security and said I beat her. I just moved to the couch and let it pan out.

Blanca

was she drinking again when this other incident happened? I dont think i could handle living with someoen like that, especially after she put your job at risk.

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"I'm a lover of what is, not because I'm a spiritual person, but because it hurts when I argue with reality."
- Bryon Katie

gmad

Can you believe I actually spoke to the wife today, she actually seemed concerned about daycare and to what the future holds. After conversing for a few minutes, the controlling in her came out in what I took as a threat that I need to go home. She even went to go out on a limb and said that we would lose our step daughter (5 yrs) if anyone were to find out what happened. I explained that she needed to seek counseling as well, but I don't think she was to thrilled with that notion. She just went rambling on and on...I just listened. I feel bad because I feel guilty leading her on thinking we are going to get back together. To tell you the truth, all this thinking and speaking with people just opened my eyes to all the mental abuse she has put me through in the past. Don't know if I'll ever be able to trust her. Oh well, only time will tell.