General Relationship DiscussionAlthough anyone can post anywhere on Talk About Marriage, this section is for people interested in general relationship and marriage advice.
my story is my wife a 2 EAs and we have started a trial separation to get some space (I made this happen with a lot of effort, she resisted it and wanted to stay).
5 days into the separation with her in her own flat, HER best mate called me up last night and told me she had seen that guy again, at the new flat, that I pay for, the day before
She told me not to trust anything she says.
I am so hurt because this means it's 100% over and she is obviously having a physical affair with him
I have been awake all night, now I need to work from 6am and sort my son out for school. I am going off the rails
I am so sad I really thought we might still work out. I can't bear the thought of them together
I feel sick in my stomach, I told her I am no longer paying her rent and that I want a divorce
she sent me 3 texts, I sent her 1 this morning and she isn't replying (it's 5am)
I have literally been awake all night, I am a total mess
Sorry dude, hurts I know, wish i could tell ya somthing to make you feel better, its too late to down a bottle of wine if ya gotta get up soon, but I would just wallow in it for a day or so, then get out there and get some new poon, thatll make ya feel better.(i know i could use sum) remember, everything happens for a reason, youll be OK, weve all been there.
I was only paying her rent when it was a trial separation. We were to date once a week for 6 months and various other things. That's all fubar now, she's getting nothing
I don't even know how to get some new poon, I am 29 and have been married for 8 years. Before that I was in a long term rel. for 3 years (that ended with her kissing someone else).
Just a question.... Can you really look at what you do or dont do in a relationship to have the 2 most significant women in your romantic life cheat on you? This is not meant to be an insult, but rather a self reflection, bc it happened twice now and if you dont figure out what you are contributing, it will more than likely happen again. Oh, also... why would you listen to a female friend tell you something like that? Im a woman and not to cut on all women, but I know that not all have the best intentions when they say "good intended" things... one female "friend" of my husbands "good intentions" was the beginning of the end of our relationship.
Did you find out about the sex 2 months back from her or your friend?
2 months back sec was from a completely different friend. I have 3 people confirm the same stories now, she has been having sex with him regularly. Apparently I am the only one who doesn't know. I am such an idiot.
I agree on the self reflection although that's not much consolation right now, at the moment I am living minute to minute trying to keep the images of them out my head. I am so devastated
I don't know whether to see her or not in 2 hours. I just want to hear it from her lips for some reason. I want her to admit it and say she regrets it, and wants me back, to aid my own feelings. She said in text she wants me back
There is no way I can stay with the girl now, this is way way way too much
I still can't believe it, 8 years marriage and she has thrown away her family. stupid stupid girl
You probably want to hear it from her because you want her to admit that you aren't crazy, paranoid, jealous, whatever she might have labeled you as LOL. You want her to admit she was doing it the whole time and lying to you, while making you feel like you were going out of your mind.
I definately agree that this really might be unrepairable.
I just talked to her for 2.5hours. I feel better, got it all off my chest.
She admitted she has been seeing him but not that they had sex. It's unbelievable that she can still deny it.
By the end of our conversation, I think she was starting to realise that she has thrown away everything for a bit of excitement.
He even has a girlfriend that doesn't know about this, she will in about 2 hours though as I have her email address. My wife has chronic hep b too, bet she didn't tell him. He probably has it now and has passed it in turn to his gf. I'll tell her this too and I suspect it will feed back to him. Poor girl.
She's begging to come back over and over via text. I just keep telling her to call her boyfriend. She won't though, it's not fun now, it's not exciting anymore.
My guess is that if you allow her back into your life, you will be here in a few months complaining that she has done it again.
you know, you may have played a part in this (these are usually not one-sided problems), but the fact that she has chosen to go elsewhere rather than face the issues and repair them speaks volumes.
Never never never never. All my friends just keep saying don't listen, it's easy to start thinking that we could try again.
Yup it's easy to think to try again. For one reason or another there's a lot of love there but that love isn't doing any good.
I went "no contact" with my wife for 8 months. In that time I was able to recover from the negative emotions and the time and distance helped me put things in perspective and make my judgements. I also came to understand my wife a lot more and at last accept her for who she is rather than the image I had of her.
Recently in the times I've broken contact trying to establish some working relationship for the upcoming divorce and to remember the good times with her I've just got burned yet again. Some lessons are hard and take a while to learn.
My wife has cheated on me AGAIN! 
(i know i could use sum
) remember, everything happens for a reason, youll be OK, weve all been there.
