08-20-2010, 08:18 PM
Join Date: May 2010
| | Re: Life After Prison
Well, I've never been through this, so I can't really say for sure. But, I would say it's a combination of everything. I know my boyfriend was an otr truck driver when we met. He's about to go back to it, and when he does it, he is gone 2-3 weeks at a time and home for 2-4 days. There is always a small period of adjustment for us when he gets home, having to get used to each other again. So, I would imagine for you two, being separated for over a year, there would be that same period of adjustment, only bigger. And then adding to that another person living in the home, and therefore kind of being involved in your relationship, and all kinds of other normal stress, I can see it leading to problems.
The question is whether these problems can be fixed. You can't fix them until you pinpoint exactly what the problems are. That's the hardest part. You have to figure out exactly what is making you so miserable. Is it that he's taking control of the finances? And if it is, why is that making you so miserable? Are you offended because you handled them all this time and now he's acting like you're an idiot? Does it bother you that he's right that you can't handle money? You have to look at all the different things going on right now, and figure out which of those things are really bothering you and which ones are a "and then there's" kind of thing (meaning that it's something that you just add on because there's already so much and that's just one more little thing that's bugging you.)
I have to be honest (and I hate to say this, because I feel like a hypocrite since my boyfriend and I talked about moving in together 3 weeks after we got together and then did it about 2 months after we got together), you were not together very long before you moved in together. And you hadn't been together much longer when he went to prison. I think it's entirely possible that you two are just not compatible, and that him being in prison only prolonged the inevitable break up that would have happened anyway. You don't really mention how your relationship was when he went to prison. But even if you two were still blissfully in love and happy, you could have been in the honeymoon phase still, and eventually that would have worn off and you might have realized that you two just weren't meant to be together.
It's only been (you don't say when in July he came home) a month, a month and a half at most, since he got home. After so long apart, I don't think that's long enough to have fully adjusted to being back together. I'd give it a little more time, but while doing so, talk to him about how you're feeling.
If things aren't any better by....I don't know, say the end of September or sometime in October, then I'd give some serious consideration to whether you two are actually compatible together.