dscowgirl

My husband has walked out on me and my three girls, his step kids. All in all it looks as if the stress and responsibility got the best of him and he split. I am trying to give it time, and slowly get to talking to him and go the route of being friends. One dilema, we are into a month of this now and he runs his own business. It deals with training animals. Well I have three animals that he has not trained in over three weeks. I have told him he needs to return them to their owners, yet he faces paying the over 400. he doesn't have. Do I set up an agreement that if he pays for feed, he can still train them. BUt if I do that will it defeat the purpose of him learning on his own and dealing with the responsibilities he has. Tough love or compassionate. I still love him dearly , it's hard for me to let him fall.

dscowgirl

Well I made the offer and he agreed. No sense in making it extremely difficult for both of us. Maybe he will come by the house and start to realize what he was really working for. Maybe being friends and seeing what he saw in me before will create a spark. One thing on my side that may make it really difficult for him to leave completely is that he doesn't hate me, and I know he does love me. Not so easy to pull away from the greatest thing that may have ever happened to him. Always tried to have him see the positive, he is the opposite.."expect the worst and the worst won't be so bad when it happens." I am the very opposite. Look for the good and good will prevail. He has had a really hard life, I haven't yet he can't see what he has accomplished with himself. He had hit rock bottom years back and it was him that brought him out of it. Got himself a career that many takes years when he did it with out schooling and in only three years. Now he has ventured with a pashion for horses he loves and is amazing at. Yet I still feel he doesn't see how good he has done...very negative..

AZMOMOFTWO

I think you did the right thing, otherwise he might think you were being vindictive. I think if you rebuild the friendship you can then rebuild the love. Also if he comes around to train, then maybe you can have some conversations, not on what is wrong but how about talking about other things. What did you talk about when you first fell in love? Also a positive attitude can be contagious so don't give in to his negativity return it by being positive. Rather than him bring you down, you bring him up. Good luck!