anthony901

I tried to make the title sum up my problem in as few words as possible. Just to set the record straight, she is NOT looking for a green card. I have a girlfriend where I live in a tiny country in South America. She adores me. She is sweet, she is loving, very passionate and I genuinely care for her. Yet she is also very immature and uneducated. She doesn't know about world politics or economies or anything really complicated, conversations often become funny good-natured arguments like the time I had to convince her us gringos aren't from the United States originally, we came in from other countries and pushed out the Indians.

I worry that if I marry her I would never have intellectual discussions or be able to share my deep, innermost thoughts on life. Am I thinking too much about this? Is her love and caring enough? Or is it because I'm such a "good catch" that she will do anything to get me? Will she change after we get married? Am I being selfish? Help!

Amplexor

You don’t state that you love her. That should be a flag right there. As far as her education that is something the can be greatly improved with time.

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Amp

Confidence – Love – Patience – Faith Are the tools to help heal a marriage.

michzz

I'm thinking you are regarding yourself as superior to her because you have what you think it the 'right" information about things you consider intellectual. and further, that she does not.

I find it interesting that you point out the word "gringo" as an example of her lack of education. You see it as meaning Americans of European ancestry who displaced the Indians.

Gringo means far more than that! All over Latin America it is used to describe any European-looking person, especially one who speaks English.

In Mexico in particular, it is a slur directed at Norteamericanos.

And as far as the term itself, it comes from Spanish, meaning "Greek".

I guess what I am saying is that this intellectualism you seek in her, you must still seek within yourself.

Does it improve your life to feel superior to her? Maybe she knows things you do not.

TheLuckiest08

I think if you have to post here asking this question you know the answer already.

In a long-term relationship you really have to be friends and have a lot of things to talk about or it will get boring quickly.

Sharpie

How may people in th United States know much about other countries? I think its unfair to say a person is uneducated because they do not like to talk about world polices and econimics.
You say she is immature. How old is she? I think knowledge of these subjects do come with age. I held no intrest for these topics either when I was in my early 20's. But now that I have a family I am much more interested in knowing whats going on in the world.

brenda

draconis

I guess it really depends on you but if you doubt for a minute save her the heart ache. My wife often thinks she isn't as intelligent as I am. She doesn't know history, economics, or politics as well as me, but if that was the only thing then yes I'd bury her with knowledge. Did I forget to mention she is working towards a PHD and will end college with four degrees.

Maybe she doesn't have the book smarts you do but knows more about nature, farming etc that you will never know. Maybe she has been denied learning because of her enviroment. WHat ever the reason the fact that you see yourself above her is a flag to me.

My wife and I are so opposite from each other, but her weaknesses are my strengths and vice versa and we use that to be strong overall. But we never feel let down by the other.

Love can be about so many things but you have to respect the person, first.

draconis

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tryingtotrust

It sounds like you think that you are better than her. You say you are a "good catch". I personally would choose a person who is sweet and loving over a person who is arrogant and feels that they are superior.

From the sounds of it, she is the "good catch".

freeshias4me

Sorry, but I agree with the last post...
Do you have any IDEA of just how sweet, and kind, and adoreable and hard working these people are? I've known many people from South America over the years, and I don't have a complaint about them! I think it's over here in our society we believe that just because we have "western education", that everyone else is useless and stupid. Who knows...maybe we're the ones missing out on the real life.