09-13-2010, 10:37 AM
Join Date: Sep 2010
| | Re: wife's coworker
I posted several back from you about my husband and his personal assistant. I know exactly how you feel - the mind can do awful things when you start to imagine what could be happening. My husband was also defensive and said why couldn't I "trust" him that he hadn't crossed any lines. The only thing that seems to have gotten through to him was to ask "how would you feel if I had a very close male friend who I saw every day?" He admitted he wouldn't like it. I finally had to tell him the difference with this female relationship vs. others he has/had was I felt his emotional connection to her was greater than his connection to me.
Fortunately, my husband and his assistant don't travel together. I'm sorry you have to deal with that one. Perhaps a boundary like, she calls you from her room at 9 PM? I think that is reasonable given the situation. Like you, I also will have to continue to deal with this - changing jobs is not an option. Don't allow her to tell you it is your problem - if you are feeling this way, there is a reason. Try to find some way to get her to see how you feel. She may never believe that there is anything inappropriate with this relationship, but she has to understand how it makes you feel. It really isn't an issue of trust, so much as a feeling that you are watching your loved one go down a path with someone other than you.
Best of luck to you - my husband and I have had some good talks and now the ball is in his court. I hope that will happen for you.