interacial relationship at the crossing
My man and I met in China 1.5 years ago. We developed a loving and intimate relationship. I have very intense feelings and affections for this man, whom i'd use all of the best words in all languages to describe. Besides the affection, we are compatible in many ways - the relationship has been wonderful and comfortable - drama-free, loving, supportive with good communication, we never had a fight (not the kind of peace where either or both of the couple are sulky and moping).
Caring about the relationship much, i gave up the chance to study in Germany and he also decided to continue to work in China despite the fact that he didn't like it here nor is the job rewarding. For about half of the year, we practically lived together.
Then the condition gets worse and worse for him in China - he was disappointed and frustrated, we both came to the realisation that China is not the place for his long term goals. So he the had an offer to work in this reputable American University which is good for any young academic.
Before leaving for the States, he took me back to his homeland, Australia, where i met his family and friends and decided that we will stick together.
Another six month passed by - everything went fine and i also visited him at his new place in America. Now we feel we are not only gf/bf, but best friends and partners.
Now there is one year before i graduate from university. And i had planned to pursue further study in the States or seek for a job there, however, recently i found both options unpractical.
And now here comes the decision about my life and my relationship.
I actively started applying for jobs or Management trainee opportunities. Career is important to me, tho family comes first in my values hierarchy - however good the offer is, it cannot be as good as a loving family to me - you retire from your job eventually while you devote your life to build your family and intimate relationship.
The problem is : he doesn't appear eager to get married (he wants to get married when he wants a family) and he does say that i should be careful and don't make him affect my major life choice so i don't regret later (reason is that, he had been there).
My arguments are that, marriage to me is holy and a new start for a relationship. I don't want to marry for it's beneficial funtions (like having children etc.) and i feel it's a big move, and very tough decision considering relocating to another country, if there is no determination from both side to be together and face whatever lies in life.
I know why he warns me about relocating and hopes i don't just go there for him - i'd regret if things don't work out; i will be a burden to him; I might be financially and emotionally wanting etc. however, the fact is, the chances that where you are happens to be the optimal place for your partner is just rare. In my case, yes, the main purpose is to be there for him. I think to fit in a new life you should first move there because assimiliation doesnt happen automatically.
He isn't eager to talk about it because he thinks "we will see and decide after you graduate" - but things needs to be planned ahead of time.
So what do you guys think of it?