Well, being a military wife I am sure has to be difficult and not for every woman. Some military marriages I know of are the most beautiful ones I have ever witnessed. A few of my friends from HS married military men and are completely devoted and proud to be miliatry wives. Surely you deserve the same and not this BS.
If you plan on staying in the military, is it worth waiting until you get home to work on this? what if you are immediately deployed again? she's already displayed that she cannot handle this lifestyle. I think a woman that CAN handle the distance almost has to be more on the selfless humble side than one that is selfish & greedy.
Now, I guess the question is would you rather be dealing with the unknown or would you rather begin the healing process now? Healing is tough but probably not as painful as continuing to wonder what she's doing at home.
I realize that being deployed is probably the worst time to be trying to repair a broken heart... but maybe this time could be better used on you preparing yourself emotionally for your return to a new life without her. You shouldn't have to beg someone to AT LEAST wait until you get home from deployment to patch the marriage... that should tell you right there that she is probably a pretty selfish woman.
Highly doubt the military supplies you with counselors for relationship issues rather than service stress... if they do though maybe take advantage? You could always order some healing literature online too and self sooth yourself through this.
If I could hug you my friend, I would. Bottom line is: you're a good man and deserve devoted love.
keep us updated and please stay safe!!!!