Playing games, an accidental observation.
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Old 10-01-2010, 10:40 AM   #1 (permalink)
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Default Playing games, an accidental observation.

I am not one for drama, playing games, manipulation, etc. I expect the same in return. I accidently did something last night tho and I知 wondering if I haven稚 been missing something. (Not seriously.) My husband and I have been in an avoidance pattern for the last couple of weeks. After dinner he痴 been outside until usually after I go to bed. I知 usually cleaning house and preparing for the next day. Anyways...

After dinner I got my laptop and sat on the couch. I was messing around with my daughter on Facebook. Husband went outside. I got on this forum was reading and responding to posts. Husband came in to get something. I知 sure he noticed the dishes in the sink, the washing machine not running, etc. He stops.

H - What are you doing?
W - Nothing. Just messing around on Facebook.
H - Oh.

Husband goes back outside. Not 20 minutes later he comes back in again appearing to get something from the kitchen. He stops again.

H - You sure are typing a lot. What are you doing?
W - Nothing really. Just relaxing.
H - As fast as you type you must have a novel by now.
W - I知 just working on something a little personal that I知 not ready to share.
H - Oh.

Husband goes back outside. Again, approximately 20 minutes later (the kids are in bed by now) he comes back in and sits on the couch. Not next to me but on the other couch. Still in the same room tho. He turns on the TV and, rather than putting on the Food Channel or Overhauling or something that would cause everyone to run from the room, he finds my favorite show. WOW

I put the computer away. We have some pleasant small talk and watch TV. Maybe life will be a little better when I get home from work tonight. Did I unknowingly make him jealous?
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Old 10-01-2010, 10:46 AM   #2 (permalink)
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Default Re: Playing games, an accidental observation.

Maybe. Most guys need a 2x4 off the side of the head to realize things but maybe your subtle answer was all he needed.

Your move... try to break the avoidance pattern.
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Old 10-01-2010, 10:49 AM   #3 (permalink)
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Default Re: Playing games, an accidental observation.

Most guys need a 2x4 off the side of the head.

Now there's one I haven't tried.

Edited to add - I have been trying to break the avoidance pattern. I still come home every day, try to hug and kiss him, and ask how his day was. I haven't gotten anything from him in return tho until last night. Finding my favorite show that he hates to watch was HUGE. I think he just needs to be done punishing me for trying to make him get off his butt.
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Old 10-01-2010, 12:01 PM   #4 (permalink)
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Default Re: Playing games, an accidental observation.

"I think he just needs to be done punishing me for trying to make him get off his butt."

WHAT??? I don't think I caught that in your post. more details?
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Old 10-01-2010, 12:48 PM   #5 (permalink)
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Default Re: Playing games, an accidental observation.

Actually all the gory details are in a different post. It was just nice to get a hint that he still cares a lil. I guess to really get it I would have to add one detail. Even though we knew one another in real life, our relationship began to move beyond friendship by chatting online. We spent hours and hours chatting online. He knows I miss that. That's why I think he may have been a little jealous or at least curious seeing me happily typing away on the computer.
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Old 10-01-2010, 12:53 PM   #6 (permalink)
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Default Re: Playing games, an accidental observation.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Chris Taylor View Post
"I think he just needs to be done punishing me for trying to make him get off his butt."

WHAT??? I don't think I caught that in your post. more details?
Yeah, that comment started to make things make sense. Btw, we don't need a 2x4. We just aren't mind readers and subtle doesn't work. If you want something, ask.

If you had a "talk" with your husband and he's avoiding you its probably something akin to the passive-aggressive silent treatment. You didn't something he didn't like, and instead of manning up and saying, "Hey, I don't like that." he went silent / unavailable.
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Old 10-01-2010, 01:16 PM   #7 (permalink)
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Default Re: Playing games, an accidental observation.

I know men aren’t mind readers. I know men don’t get subtle hints. Mine is straight up stubborn. I tell him what I want and I get the silent treatment until I give in. Then life goes back to status quo. Looking back it’s been the pattern. I’ve never let it go this long tho. I won’t give in completely this time but I will make changes regarding things that bother him if he puts any out there. I want help and I want sex. lol Maybe he’s getting that I’m serious.
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Old 10-02-2010, 03:30 PM   #8 (permalink)
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Default Re: Playing games, an accidental observation.

Maybe he's got things on his mind, stress, or just got the blahs. So now, he's in his cave, sorting things out.
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