southerngrace

Just looking for some words of wisdom. I say "problems" because I know that my boyfriend (no better term, we'll call him Charlie) and I are blessed by any standards. We are both in college, have wonderful supportive parents, and really enjoy being around each other. Basic overview: started dating while in high school, he is two years older than me, we both do well in school - we are now both at the same university studying different types of engineering (I did not "follow" him FYI), have been "dating" for four years, plan on getting married when I graduate, and do not live together. Our transition this past school year was rough because we started living in the same place again after living apart for two years. We broke up for a while, both were miserable, got back together, and went to counseling for a little while. We are doing pretty well now. He works full time at an internship here in our hometown (both living at home this summer). I work part time, volunteer, and help my parents out. /My/some of his/ concerns are these:
~we think that our relationship is great, but we have nothing to compare it to! never dated anyone else! so could things be better?
~We had a long distance relationship for two years. Now we're "together" again. But when he graduates, there will be more time when we will live apart (he is going to take the best job offer, which probably means out of state). So then we will have to go through that aggravation again. I hated it and was a tyrannical b*tch to him. In addition, he is going to be a hard worker and try and move up the ladder=long hours, work-related stress, etc. He has told me that he will fly me to him if need be on weekends, holidays, whatever we need. So yay for all that!
~I am in limbo about changing birth control. Have been on Yasmin for about three years with no problems, but I would like to do something else non-daily. Thinking about/looking at NuvaRing. It irritates me to no end that he has to do nothing about birth control, I have to remember to take it every day, etc. There's not really anything he can do to help out with BC, because we are NOT going to rely on condoms.
~I am fairly hurting about our sex life. Things were pretty good until he went to college, reasonable for the years we were apart and only saw each other once or twice a month, and this past year went all to hell. We were both stressed out about school - my transition to college and his junior year workload. We had looked forward for so long to finally being in the same place again, but when we got there, we literally had no time to spend together. It wasn't that either of us didn't want to or had any animosity, just that we physically couldn't. We rarely hung out even though we were at the same school again. This, combined with a stupid period when I thought I should leave Charlie for one of his best friends
(who is very similar to Charlie, this guy is in the same degree program, same age, four black belts-one of them third degree, extremely smart, rich beyond belief (although not a determining factor), better looking , charming, although he is a complete womanizer-supposedly sleeps with a whole sorority, Charlie and he will live together next year-should be interesting, can you tell that I unfourtunately still think about him some, this guy knows nothing of my feelings although I told Charlie about it)
led to our breakup last fall. We had sex fewer and fewer times. I usually initiated it, but many times Charlie would be too tired, or need to sleep, etc. although they were valid reasons. Even though I was hurting and resentful, I knew/know deep down that he wasn't doing it to hurt me. I feel like I just have more of a sex drive I guess, which is uncomfortable for me. We hoped the situation would change this summer when we were both at home together. We have "scheduled" sex I guess, on days that someone isn't home. He hates to do it in the car/truck. I miss being able to have time together. I don't think it bothers him nearly as much as it bothers me, even though I know he misses me. This is an overshare and I feel strange talking about this, but I feel that it is important and another thing I resent. He masturbates several times a week, even daily. I have done this maybe three times in my life, all uninteresting. I guess maybe I blame him for not wanting/making time for sex on doing that so much. I know that a HUGE factor in our problems is that we don't live together. I stay at his apartment some at school, but at home we never stay together unless we go on a trip. I don't want to live together before marriage. I don't think we would work well at school if we lived together. I am frustrated and feel lonely in this area, especially because it is usually him who has a valid reason for not wanting to.
~We are probably going to have an open relationship of some sort this next school year. We have never dated other people, and we would like to gain some insight from spending time with others before we settle down and get married. We have agreed that we don't want to know about the other's dates/sex/etc. We will not date close friends. I am kind of excited about this and think it will bring an interesting element to our relationship. We will still be a part of each other's lives. We have never had sex with anyone else and remaining STD-free is of major importance, along with, duh, no unplanned pregnancy.
~ I hope all this makes a little sense, I just was wondering what people with no prior knowledge thought of our situation. Just looking for any insight, advice, thoughts, opinons. Thanks!