simplicity

My husband and I have been together since we were 15 we are both now 29 and have two children 3&5 our relationship has been pretty sucky for about seven years my husband tries to control my clothing and going out with my friends and when he would go out with us it would end in a fight so there was no win most of the time i dress the way he finds appropriate just so theres no argument i have constantly told him he was losing me but he called me a nag and that all i like to do is ***** or argue. most recently friend of ours got a new girlfriend and she caught my husbands attention b/c he gave her all the types of attention i wanted for me and the kids when ever her and her boyfriend were fighting he was there to help her through it he even lied to me about things that had to do with her. he says there was never anything between them but i know there was a emotional affair going on and that is not acceptable in my book the only reason i agreed to go to marriage counseling (which i have asked him twice to go to before this point and was told i was f'in crazy) was for my kids to try to keep the family together for them but i don't trust him one little bit and my feelings are not the same for him I love him and care what happens to him but I'm not in love with him. Any opinions would be great .

swedish

If you have been longing for his affection and attention and then find out he's been giving that to someone else, of course you are hurt and upset. I definitely think marriage counseling is the best route at this point, for you. I think your best bet is to see whether he is willing to open up and be honest with you about how he's been feeling and what he expects. I also think being that you met when you were both so young that it will be a good time to talk through things that make you feel as though you've lost yourself and what you need going forward. If you can learn to communicate with each other without fighting and understand each others needs you may begin to see that spark again.