dontwanttoloseher

that no matter how much you talk to your spouse, drop your feelings out there and try and work things out...
something still doesn't quite feel right and none of it matters?

I've explained in another thread about my wife, her new job working with 3 men, my insane jealousy issues, etc. We seemed to have been past that, but we were discussing her job the other day, and she told me these guys spend a lot of time at Hooters and drop a lot of money on beer and food. All i said was, ohh so they are normal men then and interested in looking at women, not just all business, huh?

And the accusations started flying, first thing she says they don't come back to the office after drinking while she is there even though i did not mention it, then why did I go to hooter(last time was 5 plus yrs ago), why do i always accuse them and judge them, it just seems she is constantly defending them and and wanting to put me down.

This was Friday and all weekend I've just had a feeling she was still angry, then last night she finally said she was, but doesn't know why?

It's been different ever since she got this job, she just seems to want to argue first, even about things that do not pertain to work, then talk.

For example, over a week ago, her and my 13 yr old son were playing around, rough housing, he accidently hurt her, she went off on him. I went to talk to her since she hurt his feelings and he was crying and she gave me that same disgusted, hateful look and attitude that she does when I mention her work.

I asked, wth that was for, it was an acident and I was just trying to getthe 2 of them to relax, and she gave me the 'whatever, get out of my room", fine, see u later.

Chris Taylor

Sounds like a lot more going on under the surface. All it takes is one little pebble to get the ripple into a tidal wave.

dontwanttoloseher

Thats my feeling also, and I have tried to talk to her, ask her, what is wrong: what did I do, am i doing, what should I be doing that I am not that you feel so disgusted with me and have so many hateful things to say to me?

Her reply is always the same, she is sorry, doesn't know why she acts the way she does or says the things she says.
She has loved me from before I loved her (b4 we started going out, we met and talked a few times, and she say she fell in love then) still loves me, and doesn't know why she says the things she says or acts the way she does, usually in tears or near tears.

I mentioned b4 that my wife brought up my first gf, from 1984-86, a few weeks ago in an argument. There has been no mention of her in over 10 years and even though we all still live in the same town, I've seen her once in 10 yrs with my daughter at a local store. Well this girl played me for a fool, cheated on me a bunch of times, but the the tears would flow and I would believe her over everyone else.

My current wife knows this, as she told me herself the girl was sleeping around back then, and I am wondering every once in a while if my wife isn't pulling the same crap.

F-102

Does sound like it COULD be an affair, and she is going thru the "good guy/bad guy" phase, you know, when the OM is this wonderful knight in shining armor, and suddenly, everything you do is wrong, not good enough, stupid, etc.
But it also may be that she is seeing everyone else having fun with no consequences, and she wants some fun, too.

dontwanttoloseher

ok a different perspective> Talked to my older brotehr this morning, single guy, 46, good looking, never married and has a lot of divorced/never married friends. Told him the whole story:

when he quit laughing told me I needed to gt a grip as does she. He's seen it with his frineds as well, a mid ife thing. Told me my wife probably is being flirted with alot at work, so what? She is "over weight(I Think she looks GREAT as she has lost 40lbs in the last few months) with 2 kids, most guys don't want that baggae but still enjoy making a women smile, she's safe and enjoys the compliments and company and your tryingto screw it up, deal with it."

And as far as her being over protectivie about me talking to an ex gf, basically the same thing, she needs to get a grip, most women, according to him, aren't looking to hook up with a guy with so much baggae either, both literally and figuratively.

So, I gues it is all in my head, and I need to just trust her.
still bugs me though.