my wife and i had a rough year together so far this year. we celebrated 10 yrs together and 4 yrs married this yr but it was still by far the worst year we have had.
long story short, she told me back in may that she was unsure about us, about what she wanted anymore, and said she loved me but she just wasnt sure about her. she saw a therapist for awhile and she took a 2 week vacation to visit family in california (she's a school teacher, so summers off) to see if the time apart would help. at the time all this was going on (total of about 3 months) i was devastated and heart broken. we had been together since high school and i knew i loved her more than anything. the time apart did help. after she came home, she realized what was going on in her head and what was causing it and she apologized strongly for it. she said it stemmed from our issue of us having trouble conceiving for children. she said it hit her hard. this whole issue ended in mid-august. so since then things have been well.
my issue now is me. lately i have been feeling similarly to the way she was. part of me feels like im am falling out of love with her. i have been more miserable than normal and thoughts come to mind that i shouldnt be thinking. i do think a lot of it stems from the lack of sex within the last month or so. up until this year we had a healthy average sexual relationship of about 2+ times per week. now it is more like 2 times per 2 weeks. when we do it seems kind of like a chore and there is no more spark there. lately my mind is working eratically. im thinking sex, then im thinking cheating, then im thinking she doesnt do anything for me anymore, etc. i do not know what to do. she always says she loves me and always gives me a kiss goodnight. i am about to have a breakdown over this. somebody let me know, am i thinking too much into this? is it really all in my head? i thought about confronting her with it but i know the pain i went through and i feel this year was rough to begin with.
i'll give an example. i was miserable the majority of the weekend. she knew something was up and asked a few times what was wrong and i just responded that i was tired and havent slept well. yet when we went out saturday night, even though i was miserable she still insisted on holding my hand in the car and out shopping and etc. i think part of the issue with me is, i'm missing the little things. the feeling that i am wanted and needed. i'm sorry for spilling all of this out there. whoever reads this, you are probably thinking i am an idiot and just need to suck it up and move on. i just do not know. thanks for any help.
long story short, she told me back in may that she was unsure about us, about what she wanted anymore, and said she loved me but she just wasnt sure about her. she saw a therapist for awhile and she took a 2 week vacation to visit family in california (she's a school teacher, so summers off) to see if the time apart would help. at the time all this was going on (total of about 3 months) i was devastated and heart broken. we had been together since high school and i knew i loved her more than anything. the time apart did help. after she came home, she realized what was going on in her head and what was causing it and she apologized strongly for it. she said it stemmed from our issue of us having trouble conceiving for children. she said it hit her hard. this whole issue ended in mid-august. so since then things have been well.
my issue now is me. lately i have been feeling similarly to the way she was. part of me feels like im am falling out of love with her. i have been more miserable than normal and thoughts come to mind that i shouldnt be thinking. i do think a lot of it stems from the lack of sex within the last month or so. up until this year we had a healthy average sexual relationship of about 2+ times per week. now it is more like 2 times per 2 weeks. when we do it seems kind of like a chore and there is no more spark there. lately my mind is working eratically. im thinking sex, then im thinking cheating, then im thinking she doesnt do anything for me anymore, etc. i do not know what to do. she always says she loves me and always gives me a kiss goodnight. i am about to have a breakdown over this. somebody let me know, am i thinking too much into this? is it really all in my head? i thought about confronting her with it but i know the pain i went through and i feel this year was rough to begin with.
i'll give an example. i was miserable the majority of the weekend. she knew something was up and asked a few times what was wrong and i just responded that i was tired and havent slept well. yet when we went out saturday night, even though i was miserable she still insisted on holding my hand in the car and out shopping and etc. i think part of the issue with me is, i'm missing the little things. the feeling that i am wanted and needed. i'm sorry for spilling all of this out there. whoever reads this, you are probably thinking i am an idiot and just need to suck it up and move on. i just do not know. thanks for any help.