How do you know when you have done all you can do? - Page 2

hitrockbottom · 07-28-2008, 04:34 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by stumped

Because at some point you have to protect yourself. It hurts me every time he goes in the other room. It hurts me to sit in the same room with him and not be able to touch him playfully or intimatley. It hurts me everytime he leaves the house and doesnt invite me...so what would you suggest I do?

Sorry if I came across to bluntly I wasn't meaning to make you out to be a bad guy...just wanting some input from a womens view..my wife leaves with out telling me or inviting me....can't touch or play intimately with out feeling uncomfortable...SO I know what your going through...emotionally it does destroy me, but I leave myself open..I can't seem to close myself off...I'm afraid that if I close myself off my love will die...scares me..
just looking to bounce Ideas..

stumped · 07-28-2008, 04:50 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by hitrockbottom

Sorry if I came across to bluntly I wasn't meaning to make you out to be a bad guy...just wanting some input from a womens view..my wife leaves with out telling me or inviting me....can't touch or play intimately with out feeling uncomfortable...SO I know what your going through...emotionally it does destroy me, but I leave myself open..I can't seem to close myself off...I'm afraid that if I close myself off my love will die...scares me..
just looking to bounce Ideas..

Yeah well I guess I am getting to that point where I am killing the love.....you can only leave yourself open for so long before you just cant do it anymore. I have to say every day that goes by it gets easier and easier which I KNOW is a bad thing if he ever changes his mind because he may change his mind and realize but the way things are going it might be too late.

Missy · 07-28-2008, 05:08 PM

but if you both are hurt and you both want each other but intentionally avoid each other than you are inadvertently pushing each other further away. You both seem to make steps to converse but neither of you want the first step. I know in the past you have given many first steps, but maybe the first steps to real communication and breaking down the barrier between you. This is the only true way to know if it is enough. It is emotionally draining to work on the relationship, but no more emoitionally draining than avoiding and not knowing for sure.

stumped · 07-28-2008, 08:08 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Missy

but if you both are hurt and you both want each other but intentionally avoid each other than you are inadvertently pushing each other further away. You both seem to make steps to converse but neither of you want the first step. I know in the past you have given many first steps, but maybe the first steps to real communication and breaking down the barrier between you. This is the only true way to know if it is enough. It is emotionally draining to work on the relationship, but no more emoitionally draining than avoiding and not knowing for sure.

But thats the thing....how do I KNOW that he is hurt and that he wants me and that the mixed signals he sends me arent just habit because we have been together for so long?

stumped · 07-30-2008, 05:13 PM

So he hasnt made any steps to make any changes other than still being in the other room. He still hasnt told Family or Friends anything. Neither of us are wearing our rings.

His brithday is coming up and we are going to dinner (that I planned) with his twin sister and some friends.

We had dinner together on Monday....his idea. Yesterday talked quite a bit joking and stuff I went out after work to watch a movie with a female friend got home about 11pm talked to him for a few minutes and went to bed. Today he called me for a quick question....acted like he had to go even when I inquired about his plans for the evening and thats all the communication we have had for the day...really weird it goes from one extreme to the next.