freeshias4me

My husband basically treated me like a dog today. He plopped papers in my lap today, and told me I had to account for the money totals and left.
He later told me I spent X amount of money in X amount of days... It didn't seem right to me, way too much.
He was drunk, and I figured he got the totals messed up. He didn't want to drop it, and got angrier and angrier, and started treating me like I was lying, or had something to hide (because I told him we could talk about it tomorrow...It was late).
I was trying to avoid ANY kind of confrontation or discussion tonight, because he normally doesn't let me talk as it is...Never mind when he's drunk...

Anyhow...After he went to bed, I went downstairs to look at the papers. YES, I did spend even what I consider to be too much for a couple of weeks. But I averaged it out (it was groceries totals) over the nine weeks listed, and it comes out to a decent amount! (I think). It means that I'm able to feed all 3 of us in the house breakfast, lunch, supper, and snacks, all for $8 each a day! I think that's QUITE fair, considering when he was single, he used to buy lunch each day at a chip truck for about that.

What do you guys normally spend on groceries per week, if I may ask? I'm INCREDIBLY angry right now.

[BTW...he's basing his estimates on that he told me he used to only spend $250 per MONTH on groceries! :0 But he isn't accouting for all the swiss chalet and pizza he used to buy for his suppers, and isn't accounting for all the chip truck lunches he bought.]

justean

well i think you did the right thing, i learnt from my mum, its the worst mistake to try and talk to a drinker. you make situations worse and you only fuel the fire.
i stopped botheringto try to sort issues out when hubby drinking, i also have a better life for it.
as for groceries. for a family of 2 adults and 2 children. i used to have an allowance of £200 per month from our joint account. but if we go over we just add more to the account. so that ws £50 per week.
however over here in the uk, what with petrol going up and the cost of food going up. i think most ppl in the uk, would notice a huge effect this has had on the cost of their bills.
last week i spent £100 and that ws just basics. then yesterday i spent another £40.00.
but here also, fuel and gas and electric bills and water bills are increasing heavily.
petrol is now £1.14 a litre and diesel £ 1.33.
i dont know how much more this country wil take.

justean

oh and i told my hubby - if he thinks he can do better he can have the allowance money. full offer was on the table- did he take it - answer no.
shopping is always more expensive taking him.

nidal

I'm very surprised ! I do not know any thing about life cost in ur country ...and you should not ask such question ...since you are the one incharge of this job .. and u try to do ur best!

but the point is that ur husband was drunk !
I think you can set together and you need to explain to him the way u explained to us ...

also do not compare to what he used to spend ... but you can ask him ... how much u used to spend when u were single...

also u ask him the way he want you to spend ... I'm sure he will not be able to do better than you..

try to communicate with him when his mood is cool. do not afraid to ask for enough extra money if you feel (as I guess) that it is not enough>

gooooooooog luck
Nidal

nidal

He expect ...it is too much
you expect .... it is barely enough ..

pls. talk and explain your expectation to him ... convince him ...by logical and non-critic way.

ljtseng

My HD and i used to stress about how much money we spent on food. I would blame him, he would blame me. So now we each have an amount we can spend per week on food. it has worked out really well.