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post #31 of 50 (permalink) Old 04-02-2014, 09:26 AM Thread Starter
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Originally Posted by happy as a clam View Post
OP,

Your issues really have nothing to do with nakedness. I don't blame you for asking the question, but it's very difficult to give good advice when the whole "backstory" is missing. I have found on TAM that people will often "rephrase" what is essentially the same question over and over, moving it from one sub-forum to another, hoping to hear what they want to hear.

You already know that your husband has deep sexual issues, your marriage is suffering because of it, and no amount of nakedness or sexy lingerie (or anything else for that matter) is going to change things until the root cause of his sexual hangup is addressed.

Sorry if that sounds harsh, just my honest opinion.
In this post, I wasn't looking for advice in that regard. I know that being naked is not the big issue with us. But I am interested in the "normal" behavior so I can have more insight. For instance, if everyone on here said that it's no big deal and it's really unnoticed, then I wouldn't try to fix that area of our life. If we decide to talk to a therapist then I don't want to say "he isn't in to me in ... way" if that's the norm anyway.

I love hearing the responses. Thanks for everyone's replies.
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post #32 of 50 (permalink) Old 04-02-2014, 09:30 AM Thread Starter
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I know.....this is what I LOVE about being married....Dh works a lot....but I love going into the bath when he is showering...pulling back the curtain, lusting at his hot bod........whew ....sorry there....talking about his day and jumping in the shower with him.......

Then maybe the next day I am in the family room watching a show, or the news and he comes next to me and slaps his penis on my lips or forehead....and beckons me to follow him into our bedroom.......IDK...I am a different kind of wife...I like all that.
I love this post! I love watching my husband as well but I wish we were playful in that manner. Baby steps.
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post #33 of 50 (permalink) Old 04-02-2014, 09:34 AM
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Re: Naked Often in front of Spouse?

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Originally Posted by tinybuddha58 View Post
But I am interested in the "normal" behavior so I can have more insight.
Ok, I get it now. Thanks for clarifying

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post #34 of 50 (permalink) Old 04-02-2014, 09:39 AM
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Re: Naked Often in front of Spouse?

OP, it seems like you know the issue.

You have taken naked to the extreme, and naturally your husband has seen it so much that it has become a norm.

Cut back a bit.....make him miss it
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post #35 of 50 (permalink) Old 04-02-2014, 09:39 AM
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Re: Naked Often in front of Spouse?

I get you completely on this Tiny. And while i agree with some of the posters I do disagree with some on parts of this. Of course every couple is different. But being naked too often when all the other desired actions and results you want are not happening may be something you need to consider altering a little. Who knows, maybe you start being a little more reserved or timid around him loke that. Maybe you dont let him see you naked quite as often. He may realize he misses that and it reves up his sex drive and he starts to show more interest. Almost like you are teasing him a little. Maybe next time you and he are in the room together. You start undressing and without getting completely naked you slip off into another room so that he does not get to see you finish. The first few times he may not say or do anything. But he may eventually chase you down when you do it so he can see more or he may help you finish getting undressed. I will say even as a guy, there are not a lot of things sexier than having your partner come over and undress you.
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post #36 of 50 (permalink) Old 04-02-2014, 09:43 AM
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Re: Naked Often in front of Spouse?

The problem is that there's no such thing as "normal". Some couples like being naked in front of each other. Some couples don't. Sometimes it will change over time, as life circumstances change. So basing your expectations on someone else's "normal" is unrealistic. Same thing when people ask "how often do you have sex"...

Plus all TAM'ers are degenerate perverts..

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post #37 of 50 (permalink) Old 04-02-2014, 09:49 AM
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Re: Naked Often in front of Spouse?

I have no problems with being naked in front of my wife but then I do take some pride in my general appearance and try to stay reasonably fit.

As far as she is concerned I don't think she cares any more. She put on about 40 pounds and really shows little interest in keeping herself up like she did a few years ago when we met.

Personally I find it rather hard to be lustful after someone who rejects me all the time and does little to keep herself looking good.

Because I am a terrible person. Thats why!
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post #38 of 50 (permalink) Old 04-02-2014, 09:56 AM
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Re: Naked Often in front of Spouse?

The constant emotional rejection is a killer Tech. I am dealing with that every day as well with my wife. It tears at you and slowly breaks you down over time until you feel helpless and a shell of yourself. Some of us guys get put into the "guy" mold by our partners and they think we only care about sex or intercourse. Well thats so wrong in my case. I would take an hour of cuddlig naked every night and just kissing and caressing with my partner who was making me feel she was excited and passionate about being with me over having intercourse or some other sex 3 times a day witb a partner who is just physically in the room but mentally checked out.
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post #39 of 50 (permalink) Old 04-02-2014, 10:08 AM
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Re: Naked Often in front of Spouse?

I don't mind that so much. It's just that the person I see at home is so far from the person she portrays herself to be when around others.

Going out she is well dressed and well kept but the person underneath shows very little concern about keeping her inner self properly maintained and I just cant find that aspect sexy.

Granted I am the type who had no problems with a casual friends with benefits relationship but over the years I have found too many women who were drop dead hot on the outside that had terrible rotten ugly people on the inside that were a total turn off to me.

Mid range average looks are just fine with me but a sour miserable personality or one that is all over the place all day every day turns me off every time and thats what my wife seems to enjoy being more often than not.
Sour dumpy and brooding over nothing or at least stuff that most people would consider nothing or else she is at one extreme or the other.
Happy as can be until she remembers that she had a reason not to be happy then it's total polarity reversal again at the flip of a switch which I can not handle all that well.

Because I am a terrible person. Thats why!
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post #40 of 50 (permalink) Old 04-02-2014, 10:22 AM
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Re: Naked Often in front of Spouse?

I got a friend whose married and one day they were running out of clean clothes and his wife was getting dressed and grabbed a pair of "granny panties" because all her others were in the hamper.

He saw her walking from the bathroom to the bedroom wearing the grannies and got turned on and started playing grab ass with her.

When she asked why the sudden interest, he told her that having her whole butt covered up turned him on because nothing was exposed and his imagination took over knowing that under that baggy ass pair of underwear was her butt and honestly, she did have a nice butt. (seen her in a swim suit) and on his way home from work, he bought her a package of three baggy underwear in different colors and she wore them for him and I guess they lived happily ever. He said that he liked the idea of seeing less at the beginning made it more exciting when they came off. What ever floats your boat I guess but their happy.

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post #41 of 50 (permalink) Old 04-02-2014, 10:57 AM
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Re: Naked Often in front of Spouse?

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Originally Posted by over20 View Post
I know.....this is what I LOVE about being married....Dh works a lot....but I love going into the bath when he is showering...pulling back the curtain, lusting at his hot bod........whew ....sorry there....talking about his day and jumping in the shower with him.......

Then maybe the next day I am in the family room watching a show, or the news and he comes next to me and slaps his penis on my lips or forehead....and beckons me to follow him into our bedroom.......IDK...I am a different kind of wife...I like all that.
No, Sweetheart! You are the model housewife! Your husband should be so proud!

"To love another person is to see the face of God!" - Jean Valjean from Les Miserables

My Story! http://talkaboutmarriage.com/going-t...andonment.html
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post #42 of 50 (permalink) Old 04-02-2014, 11:01 AM
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Re: Naked Often in front of Spouse?

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No, Sweetheart! You are the model housewife! Your husband should be so proud!
Hey hey hey, you have to give the guy some credit too!!!

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post #43 of 50 (permalink) Old 04-02-2014, 11:07 AM
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Re: Naked Often in front of Spouse?

There isn't much nakedness at my house.

The only time the undies are off is when we are having sex or when in the shower. Sometimes when husband is showering I find an excuse to go in the bathroom and just "happen" to be in there when he gets out.

I enjoy those couple seconds.

But I don't think I've ever seen my husband walk naked around the house. Ever.
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post #44 of 50 (permalink) Old 04-02-2014, 11:09 AM
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Re: Naked Often in front of Spouse?

Being the consummate athlete all the way into college, I've never had any problems with being nude, period!

Even after marriage, no shyness for me or with either of my ex-wives. First Mrs. Arb and I often slept nude and showered together. She only got gun shy once, later in the marriage when we weren't intimate anymore, when she was unbeknownst to me, having her little tryst with her Company VP Boss; when I walked into our master bath early one morning and snatched open the shower door only to discover her fastly in the process of shaving herself as smooth as a cucumber, and to which I seemingly wasn't the beneficiary. She had always kept the "hair" long for me, although I had asked her to trim it up some. Then I just had to ask, "Who is that for? Certainly not me!"

No real problems with nudity for rich, skanky XW either. She usually trimmed real close, but completely shaved it prior to our separation, (but it all added up after we separated as to what she was doing); although I did actually get to christen that nice shaved area a few times, totally unaware at the time that L'il Lord Lardass had largely already taken up residence there!

Bottom line is that nakedness is usually not a real issue for a married couple, unless of course, one of them begins to experience intimacy with some third party!

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post #45 of 50 (permalink) Old 04-02-2014, 12:12 PM
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Re: Naked Often in front of Spouse?

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I live in Scandinavia. I could look out the window to nearby apartment blocks. Not being naked because of kids in the house would make no sense to anyone here. Not many apartments have a bath tub, so my girlfriends friends would often have a bath while we chatted. It was a big bath, so sometimes my girlfriend would be in there too.
This reminds me of my family reunion when I was thirteen. I'm half Finnish so have lots of family from Finland and Sweden. Well, at the reunion, we all went swimming one day and us Canadians, already had our swimsuits on under our clothes before getting to the lake. Our Scandinavian relatives all just stripped right there at the lake and put on a swimsuit or went in sans-clothes. I was mortified at the time, seeing my great Uncle's "business" lol. I have since gotten used to it though, over the years of going to sauna with some relatives; some just go in butt naked and think nothing of it but I still keep a suit on.

As for us, I used to sleep naked up until my oldest was born. Then a t-shirt and underwear. As he got older, I started wearing shorts or pajama bottoms. So nakedness is reserved for shared showers and sex unless the kids are gone, then I revert back to naked sleeping but it's only temporary. It's so much more comfortable - especially in the hot summers.

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