southbound

Hello. This is my first post; I hope someone can help. My wife has asked for a divorce after 18 years and it looks like it is going to happen. Neither I nor anyone else i talk to understands her reasons. I am looking for some "understanding" to help me move on. Has anyone heard of this? My wife asked for a divorce about a month ago because she says we don't communicate anymore, I never want to get out and do anything, everything has to be my way, and I haven't given her what she has needed emmotionally in our relationship for years. There are probably a thousand examples of those, but I'll spare everyone from reading a book. I have not cheated, I'm not abusing her or anything else that one often hears when people divorce. Our marriage history has been fairy tale. She seemed crazy about me when we first married and I thought things were going great. We are in great shape financially and have two super kids. We haven't argued over the years enough to even mention; things have been smooth. I know that some people have probably divorced over no more than a disagreement over a "Wheel of Fortune" episode, but that is just not us, at least, not until now. Us getting a divorce is like Donald Trump suddenly hating money and business deals. Everyone almost passes out when they learn we are getting divorced. She is not only getting rid of me, but willing to give up a lot of other friends and lifestyle who think she is acting irrationally.
I don't know if this is relevant, but she weighed around 110 when we married and got up to 140 pounds, but at 5'7" , she still looked great. She slowly started losing weight at the end of last year without trying. Her appetite started declining. Even at her favorite restaurant, she would eat to a point and then say, "that's it, I feel like I'll be sick if I eat anymore. She gradually got down to 110 again due to poor appetite. She also had trouble sleeping. A few months ago, she started acting stand offish around me and didn't want to have anything to do with me. Her habits started changing; she would go to bed early and watch tv there instead of in the living room with the rest of the family like we always did. She would then lie in bed and cry a lot and say she was depressed over our marriage. At her request, we seperated and she now says she feels like a human being again without me. She is not interested in therapy.
I have talked to some women who say they have had personal experiences with birth control pills, which my wife is on, playing with their emotions and changing their personalities.
My wife, however, does not feel this is true. Does it sound like something could be going on that is affecting her normal thinking?

Rob774

How old are you guys?
You were right to tell her that 140lbs on her size looks fine, my wife is an inch taller and heavier, and still looks great. It sounds like to me your wife is terrible depressed, and for whatever reason, she associates her issues with you. Has she ever actually told you what her issues are with you? Can she be on drugs?

If she isn't even interested in meeting you halfway... your marriage just may indeed be over.

southbound

I have had the same thoughts about her associating her depression with me. She says there is nothing I can do, so yes, I'm afraid it is over. As for issues with me, they are just what I listed in my post. They seem so lame that everybody expects there to be something more. If there is, she hasn't mentioned it. When someone wants to end an 18 year marriage over that, it leaves me scratching my head in disbelief. thanks for your response; it is appreciated.