godhelpus

My husband of 6 years left me 7 weeks ago. I found out he was talking to a clerk at his work. They were texting every min. of the day. Even while we were on vacation. My husband recently became a police officer. My father got him the job. Before that he didn't do anything. I worked and supported us. But finally when I had our son he wanted to step it up. So to find out he is cheating on me after all I did was earth shattering. This man never even looked at another women. I married him because he was so committed. Since he got this job he has become another animal. He began working out...coming home late sometimes, was always upset and complaining that he didn't have a nice car, or boat, or house....then to find out he was talking to some old clerk...I was pissed. I forgave him then 4 weeks later he butt dials me talking to another chick. He packed his stuff and left. I begged him to come back this time. I was so desperate. Here I was about to have our daughter and he leaves. He came back but he told me he didn't want to hear it anymore. He wanted to come and go as he pleased. I said no way that's not a marriage. He came back...but it wasn't the same. Then after I had our daughter I found him sending headshots of himself to his work e-mail. That was it....so he said he was DONE!!! He left and he doesn't even want to talk about our marriage. I can't believe after everything he is gonna throw this family away. And everytime I see him I get so upset at him...he just walks away...please help me....I am sooo alone and I can't stop crying....it doesn't help that I have an infant crying all night and day.

Almostthere

I am so sorry to hear your story, you must find some support do you have friends or family that can help. Is counselling an option. Right now you have to take care of you and your children, you were right for standing up for yourself nobody deserves that and you dont want that for your kids. You are not alone, you have done nothing wrong, you and your kids are the victims, but now you must take care of the situation for the 3 of you.
Please take care. It will get better.

firsttimer25

I'm so sorry to hear this. I just wanted you to know I'll remember you in my prayers. What your husband has done is horrid.. But the only positive is this : he made it clear that you needed to split. You stood up for yourself and your children ... That is SO admirable. God will give you the strength. No one knows why this stuff happens... But I truly believe you are MUCH better off. Are you a member of a church? Maybe some folks can help organize some teenagers willing to help you watch the baby so you can grab a nap here and there. You will look back someday and see the blessings in your children and in your OWN strength.
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4sure

Since you supported yourself once you can and will have to do it again. Get a good lawyer. Divorce him and get child support.

Give him one more thing to complain to his clerk about when you nail his a$$ for child support, and whatever else you can get.

Wishing you and your babies the best.

jessi

your first job is to protect yourself and your children financially.
he is being very selfish and disrespectful.
this is not the man you want to be with if this is how he is......
let him go, let him feel the decisions he has made.....
take care of yourself and your children.
it takes time but things will get better for you...
(((hugs)))

Rob774

Ahhhh... the grass is always greener syndrome. File for divorce, take him down to the county courthouse for child support. His new job was such a shot to his ego, that it changed him... for the worst. I don't know if you can ever get your husband back again, because he's cheated, disrespected you and your child together. I can't see how a man can walk out on his own baby.

marilee

Oh hon, I'm so sorry. Being a cop is like marriage kryptonite. My husband used to work for the LVMPD and they had an 85% divorce rate. It's a huge shot to the ego, and they get so much female attention that it's like a recipe for disaster. He thinks he's hot stuff now. I can imagine how furious and upset you must be.

Definitely get a really good lawyer and file. For one thing it might wake him up to the fact that you are not kidding around and that he will still have responsibilities if you are divorced. He won't just be footloose and fancy free he is still a father with financial responsibilities regardless of his marital status. He needs a good hard dose of reality.

Also, many police departments have family liasons or specialists that deal with the inevitable marital issues that crop up. Many of them offer free counseling or other services. Sometimes infidelity is cause for disciplinary action. I would find out what services and resources are available to you.

I'm so sorry you are going through this.

lobokies

very sorry to hear this .... you should get support from your family.
again .. sorry that you have to struggle on this.

you found a great website.. peopple here will coomfort you .. you wont be alone.

Honeystly

Man, you and I are in very similar situations. My husband left me 8 weeks ago with (at the time) a four week old, and a 22 month old. I was blindsided and devastated. Turns out he left me for another 'woman'... using this term loosely as she is 18. What I have been doing is negative:smoking cigarettes again, crying, going on interned and FB and torturing myself. The positive things I have been doing and I recommend to you are: try to keep a journal when you are ready for it, I am only now ready. Write anything down that comes to your head. Don't read over it, just write anything. You can later burn it, keep it.. whatever.
The second thing I recommend is if you can afford it to go to a psychologist. I started and I feel at least for a day unburdened. She advised me to power dress, meaning no matter how crappy you feel, just get up, shower and put on decent clothes. She said it will form your day and self-esteem better. I can see that, as both you and I feel just a bit worthless and pathetic right about now, don't we?
The third thing to do is talk, talk, talk. Get this out of you, like with the journal. Don't stew in it.
Then start planning your future. I am on maternity leave now and the first thing I did was set up mediation in order to take care of custody, money, etc. Mediation works out much cheaper than going through lawyers.
Take care of yourself. Even if you can't eat, sleep you HAVE to. If you are feeling like ****, how can your children be settled and happy.
This brings me to my last and most important point. Focus on your children. That's what I'm doing. Just remember they are joy and a blessing. You get to have real love and affection with them. Your husband obviously is trying to feel some self-esteem issue with all these women. That is shallow and will not get him any permanent peace and reassurance. So he will go through women and be mostly more and more miserable, while you will have this intense bond with your children, and can only go up from now. You take care and remember there are plenty of ****heads like that out there and I'm there with you

Honeystly

one last piece of advice: once he has visitations of the kids use that time not only to catch up on chores, but to do something for yourself. I personally will begin going to the gym on those days, just not to feel so poorly about myself, and to channel my anger into something positive. Then the bastard can simply eat his heart out. Scum.

wisteria

I am so very sorry this has happened to you. If you are wondering what you did or didn't do, please know it had nothing to do with you. It is not your fault. You deserve so much better, as do your children. You will get your strength back even if it doesn't feel like it right now. Lean on family and friends for support. Be very kind to yourself.