Re: Not taking it personally
Thank you, everyone!
To my husband's credit, many days when he gets home from work he comes right to me and gives me a kiss and hug.
Also, when I talked to him about things that pertained to my work (I'm a writer), he did show more interest. It was when I started to talk about things and people he didn't know (a human interest story I heard on the news, my friend's new job) that he was indifferent and didn't really engage.
So, part of it being "his personality" is that he just doesn't find certain things in the world as interesting as I do--that's what I mean by not taking it personally.
But yes, it can be off-putting when he says "I don't care to discuss this topic anymore."
@Bianca, I am interested in figuring out how to deal with those feelings of being offended, put off, or hurt, in ways that don't lead to more problems.
I actually think we handled it better, partly because of therapy. Like DawnD mentioned, I said something like, "I need to feel like what I'm saying to you is accepted and that you look forward to coming home and talking with me." At first he started to get defensive, but then I said, "Honey can you please just try to think of what I need right now?" and lo and behold, he took my hand, kissed it and said, "Yes honey, I understand." (Insert applause emoticon here.) That's a step better than it's been in the past.
Our counselor told us to "manage our expectations." Maybe over time and in the right way he can see the negative effect that "I don't care" has on our communication. For now, I can accept and be happy that he does show he cares about the things that pertain directly to me or us.
Also, this morning before he left for work he was sweet and affectionate, and I could tell he was making an effort to be that way.
Sometimes I feel like such a Mars/Venus cliche couple!!
Whew, long post. Thanks if you read all the way through.