07-28-2008, 12:30 AM
Join Date: Jul 2008
| | Confused about my engagement...
I found this board and am hoping to gain a little insight on how I should approach this problem.
I have been dating my fiance since I was 19. He proposed this past November, right after our 6 year anniversary. We were rather young when we met, but we have weathered many problems. We also did have some periods where we did long distance or were not together due to various reasons.
Wedding planning did not go smoothly. My father agreed to pay for the wedding, however generous, our relationship has always been rocky and after some very mean things he said to me, we are no longer speaking. That was the first "downer" on our wedding. Then we decided to elope. All I hear are negative comments from everyone, and I know that our parents are both upset about this decision. As much as we'd like to include my mother and his parents, we feel that we would have to extend an invitation to my father & his wife - and we don't want to include them.
In the midst of all of this, I am just feeling very nervous/anxious about everything wedding related. Right now, I am not totally sure I want to get married. I can't determine whether this is a gut feeling really telling me the relationship is not right? Or is this all a reaction to the complicated issues with my father?
I do love my fiance. We have shared goals and hopes for our lives. We mesh very well. Sometimes I do think he is more passionate about me than I am about him though. Sometimes I feel that *spark* is gone in our relationship and we are more best friends than lovers.
When we go out together, we have a wonderful time. We are affectionate toward each other and really enjoy each other's company. At home, alone, we are actually slightly more distant from each other. He sort of does his own thing, I do mine. When I am apart from him is when the most amount of doubt creeps into my mind and I wonder whether or not this is right.
I don't know how to make heads or toes out of my feelings. Has anyone else experienced any sort of anxiety/second guessing like this? I would greatly appreciate any words of advice, and I thank you in advance for reading this post.