MsLonely

I saw lots of broken hearts both men and women. When SOMEONE ELSE is involved, it seems women are more cruel when they decide to leave their husbands, they plan for the future and seldom look back.
Instead, men are more hesitating and having a hard time to leave the marriage even when he has a lover.
Does it explain something?
Men have affairs for fun when women have affairs for real?
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Rob774

From my experience of things i've experienced in both clost friends and family, to what i've read on here and Askmendotcom... i've seen no real diffence in the way men are cruel vs women.

Both have choosen ways to end relationships cruely, instead of doing the mature way and handling it like an adult. It just depends on how serious they are in ending the relationship. Most of the time, people want their cake and to eat it too, thus you have affairs. If i was a selfish guy, i'd say, " I love how things are going for me now, but i wouldn't mind sleeping with as many women on the side as possible."

River1977

"Men have affairs for fun when women have affairs for real?"

Yep, I agree with you and think that's what it is or has a lot to do with it. I think both men and women have affairs for a reason. Women want attention, to feel valued, and to feel loved. That takes effort on a man's part outside the bedroom and during the living hours of the day. Men need sex to feel loved so if there are problems at home, it's easy to get sex elsewhere. But that doesn't mean he does not love his wife and want to remain with her. It seems for some men, sex is something that is a high priority and necessity but is not always synonymous with love and commitment. It seems this is also the reason men are more willing to forgive his wife for being unfaithful than women are willing to forgive their husband for being unfaithful.

mentallydrained

I think it's because men are not as emotionally connect as women, or most. They are able to leave things lie per say, or 'have fun' with out the emtional bond. Most women simply do not operate that way. In my opinion.

F-102

Usually, when a man steps out, it's for sexual reasons. He probably has no intention of leaving, and it was just a one night stand or a quick romp. But when a woman steps out, it is usually for some deep emotional reasons, there really is trouble in the relationship behind it.

But there seems to be a double standard. When a husband leaves, he is shamed, ridiculed, called an immature, selfish a**hole, and when it gets to divorce, they lose the house, car, kids, etc....

When a wife leaves, it is because she wasn't fulfilled, her H was a jerk, she wasn't feeling appreciated, she deserved better, she is held in higher esteem because she found the strength to stand on her own.

Take a look at celebs. When Tiger, Jesse and Politicians stepped out, they were lambasted by the media, they lost their sponsors, were mercilessly ridiculed, everyone was just drooling and waiting for them to screw up again.

LeAnn Rimes leaves her H, and she gets guest spots on TV shows, prime time interviews, magazine covers, stories of her strength in her most difficult time, pics of her and her new guy and stories of how much in love they are, and her next album is probably going to get massive airplay and nominated for a grammy.

MsLonely

What a great contrary!
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Nekko

Both genders are just as cruel. They'll both cheat when their miserable or because they want some "strange". It just depends on the personality of the person in question, whether male of female.

My personal opinion is that some women will claim to cheat just for "emotional reasons" because the outcome is what F-102 mentioned above on LeAnn Rimes compared to the male celebs. Were women to admit they simply wanted a different guy for sex, they'd be called "*****s" and so on. Saying that it's "emotional" and that your current husband wasn't filling those needs makes things sound a bit better. Not saying that both genders don't cheat for emotional satisfaction as well, we all know they do.

Sometimes i wonder whether there are such big differences in the wirings of the two genders or it has more to do with how we're brought up and what society tells us we should be like. Also, it seems to me that men are usually more inclined to work on their marriage before choosing to call it quits. Or maybe that's just what the men on this forum are like. I really don't know. But yes, both genders are just as cruel when leaving relationships.

__________________
- When people are laughing, they're generally not killing one another. -

CLucas976

Where did you see that? All I ever read was how Leanne Rymes cheated on her husband with their married buddy and the two adulters ran away together, only to read the following week, that he was begging his actual wife to come back and he didn't actually love Leanne. THEN I read an article about how strong leannes new man's ex wife was for not taking him back.

As a female, I will certainly agree that the men caught in these scandals get treated far worse than women would, I personally blame womens rights and feminism. But I've never been the "you go girl!" type. I was actually quite upset when our govenor had to resign after being caught with a hooker, not because I feel he was right in any way what so ever or that his wife should have sucked it up and stayed with him, but he did a good job, was always working on upstate, and what we got instead..lets not get into that.

I don't see where wanting to leave a relationship and cheating co-inside. I have never cheated, ever, and while I am the type who finds it hard to give up on a relationship and will drag them out until there is nothing left, in either case, from either point of view cheating is not acceptable by a man or a woman. If you feel the need to go elsewhere, emotion reasons or other, do it as a single person. Don't do it while in a relationship, there is no need to cause further heart break.

My last break up ended with the statement "I can't do this any longer, I can't take anymore." However, after the relationship and his inability to accept it and intense need to continue to bother and contact me and threaten suicide and the like, then..then I got cruel. But I have seen my fair share of cruelties coming from both men and women in the end of relationships, it really depends on the person.

F-102

When the editor for the mag she was put on the cover for got criticized for putting a "husband stealer" (hmm..., nothing about her being a cheater who lied to her H and made him look like a fool), the editor defended her actions by saying her story was compelling and how LeAnn got through her most difficult time. Mag was Shape, I do believe.
Incidentally, her ex is moving on and looks like he has a bright future ahead of him.

CLucas976

ahh, I don't get to read shape magazine, I only get star,Ok, people, and cosmo.

as well, it looks as if the ex of her new man is doing well too

F-102

Actually, no. She just got busted for a DUI.
I don't know why it is, but I just got so super-obsessed by this story. In a way, it could be said that it started the series of events which brought me here.