How to stand him up?

silverdamsel21 · 11-11-2010, 09:52 AM

Hi,
My husband and I are on long distance relationship. We have been married for almost 2 years and known each other for 4 years. Whenever we have arguments over the phone, he would slam his phone and shut it off and it could take days before he calls me back. His very good at avoiding discussions or issues. I'm tired with this kind of treatment. How do I go about as I was suppose to meet him tomorrow but I'm going to stand him up for the first time. Just to teach him a lesson. Any idea how? Thanks

Tangled · 11-11-2010, 09:54 AM

Change your phone number, or just don't answer his calls for a few days, don't reply to emails, you gotta be strong so he knows you arn't weak and need him. If he sees you are secure with yourself and don't need him he will miss you and wonder what changed. then and only then will he try to work things out. he needs to realize he needs you as much as you need him basically.

silverdamsel21 · 11-11-2010, 10:09 AM

Thanks dear. I was thinking to go missing in action for few days just like he always did. Let him be the receiving end of being ignored this time.

Tangled · 11-11-2010, 10:21 AM

Yea now mine is begging to come home after I didn't speak to him for over a week too bad I can't take him back its complicated

swedish · 11-11-2010, 11:17 AM

Long distance relationships are difficult enough, but I can imagine a long distance marriage would be even moreso. Do you have plans to change that any time soon? I don't think teaching him a lesson will help your marriage, I may be wrong, but what types of arguments do you have?

silverdamsel21 · 11-11-2010, 10:03 PM

Lack of communication is the major issue here coz everytime I suggested we sit down together and discuss things, he would give thousands of excuses. And my earning is higher than his. And I dont wanna let go of my career just to be with him. So if teaching him a lesson will not help our marriage, do you have any better solutions. Thanks

swedish · 11-12-2010, 11:54 AM

Is he willing to move where you are? If not, it sounds like you both put work and/or living location before your marriage and until you can come to a compromise and be together, your marriage will continue to suffer.

F-102 · 11-13-2010, 04:24 AM

Get a lawyer. Sounds to me like this "tit-for-tat" strategy is eventually going to blow up into full-scale divorce. It really doesn't sound like you want to work the problem, sounds more like you want to make him suffer. I hope you have the strength to deal with the outcome.