Here is the thing, it simply doesn't matter if you agree with me, or every woman and man on this forum agrees with you on this thread..... it ONLY MATTERS how your husband feels- cause it is his DESIRE that is going to make your life sweeter & your bedroom experience more passionate.
Me & mine totally understand lines will come, brown spots , gray hair, receeding hair lines, a sag here, a sag there, varacose veins, whatever ....obviously some things we have no control over as we AGE .....I don't classify these things in the same category as "gaining 20 lbs +" , which can generally be controlled unless one has a health condition. How often is that - less than 10% of the time, I don't know the statistics.
BTW lost more than the 20lbs (34 to be exact) Learned protein and good carbs are the way, and light weights when doing PT
See you did what he desired even if you wanted to chop his head off when he said what he said, even thought to divorce him, then loose it ! Ha ha, how our initial outrage gets the best of us. Though maybe that was over the love comment. He went too far there, did he mean that part?
And I just bet he has been giving you more compliments , flirting a little more , I bet it even improved the emotional for you -as you came his way as well.....Come on, did it UP his desire or not ???? And what about you, are you going to say it didn't make you feel better -about yourself as well ???
I find it very hard to solely relate attraction to purely physical. We are all going to get old...things are going to sag... hair is going to disappear...but I hope the sexual attraction will always be there! Bad News is EXTREMELY HOT!!!! but I am attracted to the inside, the looks he gives me, things that no one can see!! The physical appearance is for everyone to lust after, the other is just for me!!! I don't know if that makes sense
Of course these things make sense, Love gives the ability over the years, to still look into our lovers eyes and still capture that spirit of youth, you still see the Stud admists the grey, or he sees that hot beauty you were in that old dress he loved so much. Memories flood us in the emotional connection at any age. Love gives us such an ability.
Maybe it is a mental thing-we ascend too , I don't know. But being able to wrap our arms around our lover and still feel our hands on the other side will sure make this easier.
But when a spouse carelessly gains without care to how it affects his/her other half, this can do damage to the relationship....
I will never forget talking to this one man, he was never attracted to his wife, but married her anyway cause she was a good woman, his christian friends said "beauty doesn't matter" - he bought into it, guess what, she gained over 80 lbs, he is repulsed, but all along didn't have the heart to tell her how he was feeling (no transparency there) he wore a mask his entire marraige..you know what it did..., he got so depressed he had to be put on meds, then his Test levels plummeted to under normal, last I heard from him, he was going to do a blog on how vital the role of attraction is when you marry someone . very very sad story he has. The only reason he stays with this woman is his faith, what a sad sad marraige indeed.
Initial Attraction is very important...and maintenance after the wedding.
That is my position. Sorry it if offends some. I would only want to be with someone who felt the same, cause otherwise I would be harping on him about his added weight gain, so best to marry someone who has the same views. I accually feel this subject should be talked well before marraige.
It is that important- as it causes alot of hurt feelings down the road on both sides, it is a "working" within the marriage just like other goals -financial, where you live....and how we take care of ourselves to maintain attraction no matter our age.