General Relationship DiscussionAlthough anyone can post anywhere on Talk About Marriage, this section is for people interested in general relationship and marriage advice.
Re: Would you still love your wife if she gained weight?
Sure, but doesn't mean I won't stop bugging her to lose it, same way she won't stop bugging me if I get out of shape. Hasn't happened since she got preggie though.
Re: Would you still love your wife if she gained weight?
I think many women want to know that the time put into a relationship will build the love beyond the topical of appearance, particularly in light of a new medical problem. I am capable of loving my partner and being attracted to him even when he gains weight because of who he is, not what he looks like. Some people just can't do that. Personally, I think that is sad, but what can one do if they find themsleves in a marriage or long-term relationship with someone who is more interested in how one looks than quality of character?
Re: Would you still love your wife if she gained weight?
Quote:
Originally Posted by SimplyAmorous
Very well done - as you should. What was I thinking !
Hmmmm S.A., a slight clarification is needed...he said he was going to use the photo thing that you had mentioned...I said ok...oooops... guess computer illiterate shouldn't agree to something without knowing what they are talking about!!!
Hey but after the comment he made..who would be upset!!! TOOO SWEET!!
Re: Would you still love your wife if she gained weight?
@ + 100lbs you'd have to be the one out the door. She couldn't fit. And when she keeled over from her heart exploding the fire department would have to saw a hole in the wall.
Re: Would you still love your wife if she gained weight?
Quote:
Originally Posted by Rob774
My wife at one time came close to 220. Still loved her, still was romantic, and still had interest to make love. How could i mention anything when she gained the majority of that through pregnancies that i was a part of. When she finally was ready, she lost the weight on her own.
Re: Would you still love your wife if she gained weight?
Typical woman! He does not say anything mean. She asks him how he feels and he provides a nice and compassionate answer. She then say I really want you to tell me the truth, just tell me how you feel, communication and honesty are important in a relationship, and he finally says something and now she's mad. In your own words, you "badgered him" for an answer and are now unhappy.
I think you should assume he is happy and loving. Not everything works perfectly. What would happy if the average guy asked, would you be happier if I made twice as much money. Would you like me better if you had a large allowance which you spend anyway you wanted. These are hard questions. I'd ask him to take you out, have him apologize and call it a day.
I found out just last night that my husband of 16 years would not!!! I have gained 20 lbs since we have gotten married...Had 2 kids, now teenagers.... and have MS. I used to exercise at least 3x a week either running 2 to3 miles or biking 45 minutes. Now that I have MS I can't do the same things that I used to....but I do still eat healthily and walk a mile everyday. After badgering him he finally admitted that he has felt less sexually attracted to me since I put on the extra weight and admitted that if I got too big wouldn't be attracted to me at all!!!! He used to take me on weekend vacations and was quite romantic.However for the past 2 years, we have spent valentine's day (which is also my birthday) with the kids and even last year with his MOM!!!! Don't mention our anniversary....here too either with the kids or even just at home! When I married him I didn't get the sense that he was sooo superficial. I am soo angry with him I am almost tempted to just pound on the pounds and tell him f u, and after the divorce just loose all the weight I can!!! He has also shown signs of cheating even though he catagorically denies it!! (HMM) He, of course, still wants sex but refuses to be romantic!!! Am I being overly sensitive or is he just an insensitive b?!?!?[/QUOTE]
Re: Would you still love your wife if she gained weight?
Quote:
Originally Posted by unbelievable
My wife's weight has fluctuated over the span of 80 lbs. She's been everything from a size 0 to a 16. I think she's about a size 12 now. I've always thought she was beautiful. I suppose somewhere between Olive Oil and Jabba the Hut, there'd have to be a number that I would consider a deal-breaker, but she hasn't come even close to hitting it. If a wife (or husband) hasn't gained more than 20 lbs in 16 years, I'd say their partner is very blessed, indeed.
Yes what he said. 2Sick your husband is an ass and so are the rest of the men that think like him. My wife was petite and cute when we me. Now (50 pounds later) she is cute. I just see the woman I fell in love with.
When I was engaged I told my wife that I loved her but was marrying her more for the woman I knew she would become rather than the woman that she was then. This annoyed her a bit back then but now she totally gets it. She is educated, accomplished, articulate, compassionate (I could keep going) and I just see the woman I love. Would I be thrilled for her if she lost 50 lbs? Of course but it has not gotten in the way of the passion ever.
Re: Would you still love your wife if she gained weight?
I don't think that it is bad that he was truthful with you, because now you have a place to go from. If he lied and he really felt that way inside, it would probably be worse for both of you.
Now, a relationship is two parts. If he really feels this way and loves you and you want to stay together - it would be in his best interest to help you lose the weight. You could do things together to help with this - and he could help and support you, rather than just sit back and complain about it...
Re: Would you still love your wife if she gained weight?
No one should feel that their worthiness to be loved depends on their weight.
That is emotional abuse. When you feel that your value depends on the number on the scale, you cannot be happy with the person who puts these conditions on you.
Love is not unconditional for the most part...cheating, abuse, etc makes conditions for love. But to say, "I don't love you anymore" because someone gained weight is stupid. You may not be attracted, etc, but can you honestly say you don't love them?
Re: Would you still love your wife if she gained weight?
Yes I would....To a point. Regardless of what people might say I do feel that looks, or sexual attraction, are EXTREMELY important in a relationship. Dominating factor? No, not even close. But if you gain a large amount of weight you should be prepared for loss of interest in that department which will eventually affect other areas.
20 lbs.? That's peanuts. He probably just thinks because a woman smiles at him that he can then go out and get hot women. We like to dream and think that woman want exactly what we'd like to do to them. Funny how we strike out more than we hit home runs.
Re: Would you still love your wife if she gained weight? 
He used to take me on weekend vacations and was quite romantic.However for the past 2 years, we have spent valentine's day (which is also my birthday) with the kids and even last year with his MOM!!!! Don't mention our anniversary....here too either with the kids or even just at home! When I married him I didn't get the sense that he was sooo superficial. I am soo angry with him I am almost tempted to just pound on the pounds and tell him f u, and after the divorce just loose all the weight I can!!! He has also shown signs of cheating even though he catagorically denies it!! (HMM) He, of course, still wants sex but refuses to be romantic!!! Am I being overly sensitive or is he just an insensitive b?!?!?[/QUOTE]
