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Looking for a little help. My husband and I have been married almost 3 years and together for over 5. He has an issue with alcohol where he can't stop at just a couple when he starts. We had problems with this alot during the first of our relationship but since we've been married it stopped being an issue.

My problem now is that he recently started a new job which has he gone on business trips to days at a time. He calls home every night drunk and slurring his words and it makes me very angry. He is a different person when he is drunk and I don't like talking to him in that state. He thinks there is nothing wrong with it because he's drinking in his hotel room with his colleagues and not out at a bar.....not sure what to do or how to handle...please help!

ljtseng

alanon meetings are going to be your best bet. Welcome to Al-Anon and Alateen
its an extremely supportive environment with women (mostly) that are experiencing the same things. its free and ive gone to many on my own in the past. you dont have to go through this alone.

justean

your hubby sounds like mine - im not hurting n e one.
little do they realise it tears you apart inside.
im afraid this wont just go away.
im still battling with my hubby over drink issues and we have been together 13 yrs.
my hubby is like a jekyll and hyde with drink.
i know you get angry, so do i.
but unfortunately i have another issue through drink, hubby had a one night stand - there is more to the story. but the drink did not help.
since the night it happened , he has changed somewhat. but he hasnt been out socially since april 08. but he drinks at home.
he has had periods where he has stopped (dad died- stopped for 6 months) vowed wouldnt drink again. but he did. after our recent event - he stopped for 3 months until i started having family bbqs , that i have had to curb for drinking reasons.
i read on one thread that someone suggest you take something away from him, i.e to curb the drinking - take away sex. your then depriving him. im gonna b honest this would not work in my situation, but i did curb the bbqs.
so i took something away.
i dont mind n e thing in moderation, but excess is just miserable for the partner or wife they are with. its quite a lonely existence. whilst they sleep of their drinking.

sunnyday

The good news you recognize the problem….not being able to control alcohol is a very serious problem and it will only get worse. I stayed forty years with a man I loved very much but I can tell you his drinking caused me a life time of pain and heartache. Over the years he cheated numerous times and each time was forgiven. The worse part was how he changed from a loving husband and father to a mean drunk. He became verbally abusive and very embarrassing at social events. After all these years of hoping and praying that he would come to his senses and get help….it NEVER happened. The worse he became the more I tried to “save our marriage”…..the bottom line I am now sixty five living alone and he has a live-in girlfriend half his age who doesn’t mind his “drinking”. He starts drinking in the morning and drinks all day. He told the grandkids he was drinking “apple juice” our eight year old who adores her grandfather told him “poppie you drink too much apple juice” even a child can recognize a SERIOUS problem. YOU have an obligation to take care of YOURSELF.….you must make choices……if he does not get help NOW he will only get worse. You will end up hating him and yourself for wasting your lifetime. There has to be boundries….drawing lines and moving them forward each time he crosses them is NOT the answer. I am sorry to paint such a bleak picture but you have a whole life time ahead of you please don't waste it please don't end up old and alone for someone who didn't love you enough to get help. This is HIS problem not yours don't be too ashame to ask for help from others if you need it. Drinking is like cancer if left untreated it will destroy a person's life and cause serious pain and heartache to all those who love you.....just ask my family.

justean

sunnyday, going to be honest but its really good to hear a perspective from your generation.
you dont paint a bleak picture, you paint a picture of truth and im pleased you said it.
your input is greatly appreciated, to someone like me.