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So Depressed Right Now

1K views 6 replies 7 participants last post by  Pinkyshot 
#1 ·
My husband OD'd Saturday night. The last post I put up was "Is it my hormones or my marriage?" Short recap, he'd been using drugs now for the past 5 years and I had finally given him an ultimatum, which was one last chance to beat this and if he screwed up again, I would have to leave him. Well Saturday night we went to dinner and he got really sweaty and he was white as a sheet, he almost threw up on the table at the restaurant. I paid the check and immediately took him the the hospital where he ended up in ICU on life support for a drug overdose. He made it through and they released him from the hospital on tuesday and I took him directly to an drug and alcohol recovery rehab. He will be there for several weeks in the inpatient area and then he will be able to come home and do the outpatient program which will last for a month or so. I am now debating whether to get an attorney and leave him. I can't do this anymore...saturday night i thought he was going to die and it scared me to death. Seeing him with tubes out of his nose, his mouth, and IV's in both arms...he was out cold and his body was so cold to the touch. he was very dehydrated and he almost lost his life but he pulled through. He has never OD'd before, but if he continues to use, it will happen again. I can't stay here anymore....the hard part comes now when I have to leave and it's just so hard to leave someone that you still have feelings for. I love him, I'm not sure if I'm in love with him anymore, but it's going ot be the hardest thing I've ever had to do in my life.
 
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#2 ·
hi daisy. im so sorry about your experience with your husband. im sure that it is very traumatic for you. Just remember if you leave there are plenty of resources for him to get help-if he wants to. he wont be alone if he doesnt want to be.

My sister now has no contact with her alcoholic of six years. It was the hardest thing she ever did and she almost didnt make it through it. but like her exe, she also had to go through a sort of detox. Detoxing from her addiction to him made her physically sick, lonely, and depressed. but she's ok now. You'll be OK. Welcome to Al-Anon and Alateen
 
#4 ·
DaisyJane56

So sorry to hear this. Last week I responded to your post and voiced my opinion that as long as you had given you husband one last chance that you owed it to him to follow through. It appears he has given you his answer. Because you have given him chance after chance this cycle will continue. If the detox helps that’s great but he has a tough road to go. It will be your choice whether to continue or not. I wish you the best as you move through this period.
 
#5 ·
Serious narcotic abuse has a lot of collateral damages attached to it. The people that love and or care for the user have to watch helplessly while the person they love jeopardize their health and risk loosing their lives.
I have lost a few friends and family (not dead yet, just lost) to meth. I myself am a functioning pot smoker and don't let it interfere with other aspects of my life.
Heroine, cocaine, methamphetamine, alcohol, tabacco, gambling have all been known to be relationship/family killers.
Don't feel bad if you've tried and have simply been let down, the fact that you do love this man is why you have to leave, because you can't watch him kill himself or throw his life away.
I'm sure you would not want to see him eat himself to a heart attack or blow his brains out with a gun either, the drugs are not so much the issue as the fact that he doesn't care enough about you or himself to stop or at least control his vise and not make it more important than his life with you.
 
#6 ·
My personal experience in this has my heart bleeding for you. It was the toughest thing I did in my life. Leaving my ex and taking our daughter. Even with my child involved I was still torn. I wanted to help and believed he could change, but somehow things never did. After I left he fell a little further before coming out of it. We never reconcilled but I have forgiven him and we have a decent relationship as parents to our daughter. Drugs and Alcohol can control your life and even if he wanted to stay good because he loved you he just couldnt. I will tell you this though.. as hard as it was to leave it was the best thing I ever did for my daughter and myself.
 
#7 ·
I grew up around drugs and have done them my self when I was younger for about 5 months..I have to say there is no one that can make a person quite, but the person who is doing them. They know you love them, but its kind of a distant feeling. What matters most is the rush they get from the drugs everything else including the people that love them are second. I have been clean now for years and have no urge to do them again. You gave him a ultimatum, this does not work with people who are on drugs, because I hate to say this, but the drugs mean more. If you told him that you were going to leave then you need to....you don't want to get pulled deeper in to his druggy life. This is something he has to do all on his own. If he wants to stop he will. If he doesn't then he wont. There is nothing you can really do about it. The only thing you can do is distant you self from it and give support when hes ready to have it. The best thing you can do is make sure you take care of your self. Do not beat your self up about leaving him, if you feel it is the right thing to do.

My mother does them...she never did when I was younger but she does now and I have tryed to reason with her to stop and to get away from everyone that does them...but she does not listen she still does them and the best I could do for me and my family is just to stay away from her. I love her but she is a grown woman if she want to do this to her self then she can. I check on her when I can and ask other family how shes doing, but I do not want to put my self back in the druggy scene and I would never take my kids around it.

Sometimes tough love is all you can give them from a distance.

I really hope he does better when he gets out....but from personal experience it can take up to a year to get your head back on strait from doing drugs.... it sounds like he is very dependent on them and should stay in a rehab until he is sure he wont go back.

Good luck on what ever you decide to do.
 
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