11-21-2010, 06:55 PM
Join Date: Oct 2010
Location: In Happiness
| | Re: My anger and bad moods has ruined my marrige
i read and understand your view and her side. sometimes there is to much anger and resentment on both sides. if nobody is talking about upsets them the most, then nothing will be worked out.
maybe you were nice, maybe you were mean. her abortion was prob a hot button for you maybe a hotter button for her. did she feel like she was forced to have one cuz you didn't want kids, yes life and common sense wins the argument, but if she or you didn't touch base with what happened. people change, opinions change, feelings change, points of view change, a new understanding comes into play.
but you have to talk about past hurts. they build. i don't think its fixable now, 20 years of compounded hurt and misunderstanding, OK---
picture a fifty gallon water tank, the tank is the reservoir for hurt feelings, and anger---
now how long would it take to fill it. every battle is as small as 1 drop and as much as a gallon. if the two of you are talking about past hurts and resentments, a little water "evaporates", and next time the subject or topic comes up nothing is adding to it. with new clarity and understanding, comes less pain and hurt and anger.
if she still loved you enough to work it out, its poss., but i understand both sides. it would be a very long process. both of you want and need to save the marriage for it to truly be back on track. I'm not trying to be purposely heartbreakingly cruel, but sometimes if you see it from a outside looking in you gain prospective.