Could my wife be gay?
My wife has asked for a divorce after 18 years because she says she is not happy. Of coarse, I am leaning on friends who seem confused, and after describing our sex life, some have suggested she might be gay. I have personally known two couples who were married for years with kids and then one announced they were gay. What do you think?
My wife's sexual desire was never what I thought it should be. In the early days of our marriage, she acted as though she was crazy about me by the way she looked at me and talked about me. She loved physical touch such as cuddling, foot massage, rubbing her hair, holding hands, etc, but that didn't lead to anything else as much as I would like. After the honeymoon, we quickly got down to once a week, and over our marriage, we would go for several weeks. My wife does have a tough job and always said it was because she was tired. She was either in the mood or not; if she was not, she was not interested in any foreplay to attempt arrousal. Due to her being on birth control, we planned for both of our children and she had to get off birth control for a period. Even during that time, she wasn't overly sexual. We still maintained our usual frequency and she would seem puzzled as to why she wasn't pregnant. I jokingly told her that one had to have sex in order to get pregnant. She was also never into anything too spicy, just the basic act. She tried giving me oral sex a few times early in our marriage, but said she just couldn't do it. However, she would accept oral from me. Sexual things that we did earlier she later stopped. Because she knew i was in the mood, she would sometimes give me a hand job, but she didn't always want anything for herself. In the last few years, she said she sometimes felt uncomfortable having sex unless we were under the covers, and she would sometimes ask to leave her bra on and didn't want me to touch her breasts. Although we would give each other a peck on the lips as we leaft for work every morning, passionate kissing became scarce, even during sex. She told me once that once you got to sex, she thought kissing was a weak act. She always seemed to enjoy sex and having an orgasm once we got there, but it wasn't something she apparently thought about a lot. She also told me that when she was a teen, she never thought much about the good looking boys on tv like other girls did. She also said she never masturbated as a young girl(I'm not sure if that means anything, but just thought i would include it). We are currently seperated at her request, and in the last few months, it seems that the thoughts of me as a husband makes her depressed and sick, and she wanted no part of any kind of intimacy. Does any of this sound like she could be gay?
Last edited by southbound; 11-25-2010 at 12:18 PM.