My Husband Has A Problem

mollymai17 · 11-29-2010, 12:12 PM

My husband don't think he is doing nothing wrong. What I mean by that is that we have gotten into various of times of him taking pictures of him and other women to the point we almost seperated. I found out that he is still doing it. I have his eamil info without his knowledge and saw him taking a picture with another woman at the club he was at and kissed her on the cheek too close to her lip. I am sick and tired of this bull, but I don't want to let him go for some reason. I feel so disrespected and stupid. I can't let him know because I am finding this out from checking his emails and he don't have a clue. I am pissed, hurt and tired of it all.
I was tol by another user that he has Narcissistic personality disorder and I want to thank the user for telling me that, because after reading up on it it is so true.

major misfit · 11-30-2010, 06:39 AM

Well, if you're living with a TRUE NPD...you're going to need help dealing. You need to get yourself to a therapist who specializes in NPD. If you can't get him to go for help himself (and it's highly unlikely that he will) then you have to get help for YOU. It is VERY hard to remain in relationships with these kinds of people. I would urge you to seek out counseling ASAP.

mollymai17 · 12-01-2010, 01:36 PM

I am looking into couseling for myself. W have already went to marriage counseling and he feel as if he don't need to go again. I am now wondering should I tell what I know as far as the pictures?

Mrs P · 12-02-2010, 12:12 AM

I would tell him everything you know about the pictures.

If he really has NPD he may not empathize well with your feelings so I wouldn't focus on how the pictures make you feel or why you're upset.

My goal would be to get him to understand that what he's doing is disrespectful to you and your marriage, and that you're not willing to be in a relationship where you're being disrespected.

If he can see that he's jeopardizing the relationship and if he really wants to be in the relationship then maybe he'll open up to making some changes.

major misfit · 12-02-2010, 03:53 AM

You can tell him about the pictures, but if he's NPD it's not going to make a difference. Because he doesn't really care what you think about the pictures, it's all about him. He won't think he's done anything wrong (or else he wouldn't have done it in the first place, right?) and will minimize the whole situation.

mollymai17 · 12-04-2010, 10:31 PM

So I told him about the pictures the best way I knew how. He got furious and got all up in my face and was ready to get violent with me. I know that this is not right of course, but he decided to leave and has taken most of his clothes. I know where he it is, but the point is he could not take it that I knew and got mad and decided to leave. Right now it is best that he has left but I don't know where we go from here. He feels I spy on him too much and I feel he crosses the bounderies of our marriage. He has also reactivated his facbook account and this is the reason we have been getting into a lot, I have lost so much trust in my husband, but I still love him with all my heart and want to go to counseling to work it out. Whave been together for 12 yrs and married for 6. I just want him to get help for his NPD.

4sure · 12-04-2010, 10:38 PM

He got mad and left. This is the NPD way of shifting blame, and punishing you.

major misfit · 12-05-2010, 12:12 AM

You caught him red-handed. You proved it to him. Even with the proof, he STILL couldn't face it. Are you sure you still want to live with this?