TMNT87

I needed help stop liying to my wife. I need some help here. I been liying since I was a kid. I want to stop it. any help can helpfully?

Blanca

well, the best way to stop lying is to come to grips with what you can and cant control.

Can you control your lies? probably not. telling yourself, "i have to stop lying" does three things 1) lowers your self-esteem every time you lie to yourself about not lying anymore 2) feeds into your feelings of no self-control 3) actually makes you lie more. The more you feed the feeling of no self control the more powerless you feel to change, the more demanding you get of yourself, and the more powerless and guilty you feel. its a vicious cycle.

so get a grip on what you can control. think of this as an experiment in control. you have a final goal to stop lying. but you have to break that down in to real concrete manageable goals. so lets think of something you can control that might help you get to your ultimate goal.

But first, what do you lie about?

__________________


"I'm a lover of what is, not because I'm a spiritual person, but because it hurts when I argue with reality."
- Bryon Katie

chefmaster

Do you know why you've been lying since you were a kid?

If not, find a counselor in your area, local health departments have them for free in many areas. Insurance plans cover them now too.

You've already taken the first step by admitting you have a problem, now take the second step and do something about it.