11-30-2010, 10:20 PM
Join Date: Jul 2008
| | Re: Needed Help to stop lying to my wife.
well, the best way to stop lying is to come to grips with what you can and cant control.
Can you control your lies? probably not. telling yourself, "i have to stop lying" does three things 1) lowers your self-esteem every time you lie to yourself about not lying anymore 2) feeds into your feelings of no self-control 3) actually makes you lie more. The more you feed the feeling of no self control the more powerless you feel to change, the more demanding you get of yourself, and the more powerless and guilty you feel. its a vicious cycle.
so get a grip on what you can control. think of this as an experiment in control. you have a final goal to stop lying. but you have to break that down in to real concrete manageable goals. so lets think of something you can control that might help you get to your ultimate goal.
But first, what do you lie about?
"I'm a lover of what is, not because I'm a spiritual person, but because it hurts when I argue with reality."
- Bryon Katie