mrsunhappy

hello my name is ashley i have been married to my husband for 10 months (not even a year) and were expecting our first child in december. Well we just had a huge fight about him not getting a job. he has been unemployed for a month and we can barely feed ourselves. which is horrible considering im pregnant. now i will tell you and i really don't need ridiculed because i am trying its just really hard. i do smoke and im trying to quite but like i said its hard and then being pregnant on top of that makes it even more emotional and hard. he wants me to quite but don't understand how hard it is when he dips which is the same thing but in his mouth he also smokes pot which i totally dispise of. i told him it would help if he would quite both of those and not yell at me when i get snippy because of course i will with being hormonal and quiting smoking. well that isn't even the problem, he wont get a job and i of course said some things that i shouldn't have said and he through his wedding ring at me and told me to leave, but unfortunely i don't even have gas to leave or i would. so he left and i don't know where he is. he said he doesn't wont me here any more and wonts me to leave b/c hes miserable and he wants a divorce and you know all that good stuff! i don't know what to do i don't wont to leave and to be honest he can walk all over me and i wouldn't do a thing, which that is not how i am. he yells at me and tells me to get a job which i will and i have been looking its just hard well because im pregnant and i wasn't working b/c if anyone knows about pregnancy the first trimester i couldn't get off the toilet. but i don't know if im just crazy or this really is wrong if a man sits at home and plays video games and sits on the couch while his pregnant wife goes out and works. is that wrong or am i crazy? i don't know i need someones input please

Blanca

I dont think you are crazy. I would be extremely depressed, not to mention freaking out, if i had a baby on the way and my husband wouldnt get a job. Is this the first time he has been out of work? Is he looking at all?

It sounds like you are actually doing something about him trying to walk all over you. you fight back. on a website i was reading awhile ago the writer coined a phrase i think fits your situation. He calls this the "Dance of Wounded Souls." You might want to check out this website: Setting Personal Boundaries - protecting self

draconis

You are not crazy. I would see if there is family out there to help you out for the mean time. You don't deserve the grief he is giving you.

draconis

__________________
www.myspace.com/draconis1973

AZMOMOFTWO

You are not crazy at all. His treatment of you is unacceptable. Do you have family or friends to turn to? I think you need to leave the situation. I work with people at the executive level in search of jobs, I can tell you particularly in this economy it is very tough and searching without results has a highly negative affect more so on men than women in my professional experience. However, that does not excuse his behavior, he needs to provide for his family. You can be strong, but it would certainly be easier if you had family you could lean on right now. I'm not a smoker but I understand that quitting smoking while under such stress is difficult. Please try, cut back one at a time, do what you need to. But also understand you inhaling his second hand pot smoke his also affecting the baby. He needs to quit his habits to support you while you try to quit yours. You deserve better than how he is treating you, and so does your baby.