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Slapping Another Guy's Butt

16K views 39 replies 27 participants last post by  CH 
#1 ·
I am in disbelief.

Yesterday, at my bf's pool/bbq party, I saw my bf put his hand on another guy's butt and squeeze it as he was walking past him. I'll call the younger single guy whose butt my boyfriend grabbed, M.

This was in full view of everyone. I'm not sure if I'm the only one who saw it. M just moved a little to the side and didn't make a big deal. Later on, M acted normal and I didn't notice anything different in the way M was acting toward my bf. M is new to our close group of friends, and is a younger unmarried man. M is NOT gay and he dates women.

We were all drinking. Now, I'm doubting whether I actually witnessed it or not because it's so unbelievable to me.

If my bf actually did do what I thought I saw, is that completely abnormal for a straight guy?

I've been dating my bf for over 3 years, and never have I ever suspected that he was anything but straight. We have a good sex life. The only thing I thought was odd is that he likes butt play sometimes when we have sex.

Is this normal?

What should I do about this?
 
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#7 ·
Straight guys do not grab other guys' asses. Straight guys do not LET other guys grab their asses and just ignore it. Th fact that your guy like a little butt play while the two of you are having sex isn't a big deal by itself, but might be moreso in combination of the other scenario.

C
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#17 ·
I am in disbelief.

Yesterday, at my bf's pool/bbq party, I saw my bf put his hand on another guy's butt and squeeze it as he was walking past him. I'll call the younger single guy whose butt my boyfriend grabbed, M.

This was in full view of everyone. I'm not sure if I'm the only one who saw it.
It's a bit weird but on the other hand, it's so over the top that it was indeed probably for fun/shock value. Sounds like your BF is very confident because he's not afraid of what people would think of his sexuality. Think about it: if he had some homosexual tendencies of which he was ashamed, he wouldn't come out in public and squeeze a guy's butt!

And you know how they do in locker rooms -- slapping butts, etc. At least that's what I see in the movies! :)
 
#25 ·
I know what you are saying.

I feel better having said what I said, however, than I would have been had I not. If one can't be honest and open to one's SO, then who can one be honest to?

The issue regarding my bf and F may have been driven purely by my insecurity, but this issue is driven by my lack of understanding about what is normal straight guy behavior. It appears that some of the posters had the same initial reaction that I did.

I've never seen a guy grab another guy's butt. I've seen men slap each other's butt after a game, but never grab and squeeze while not in the sport context.
 
#24 ·
OP,

I don't you need to worry too much about this. It is something men do when they are drunk or just goofing around for shock value.

I've had it done to me already, and did it to others in similar situations, and wasn't annoyed.
I've also had gay men hit on me , an they annoyed me.

Don;t htink you have much to worry about there.
 
#27 ·
Locker room shenanigans that sometimes get taken out of the locker room. (also one of several reasons I have been on very few sports teams).

And I suppose if you are gay or straight, butts are definitely appealing.

I saw a guy goose a girl (who was talking to her big burly date) with his right hand while walking down the street holding his own GF's hand with his left... I think he was just doing it to see if he could get away with it. And he did.
 
#28 ·
I would not be concerned about it at all. We men take some stupid jokes to levels that should never see the light of day, and yet we do them and think it's funny. If it was something that bothered you personally, make sure you let him know that as well so conflict cannot be created later on when dealing with friends/parties/stupidity lol. Goodluck.
 
#29 ·
I worked with a guy who did that to other guys. He was straight. He was just doing it for the reaction. His other 'antic' was to come up behind you and squeeze both pecs!

Believe me, he got plenty of surprised reactions. He was a generally well liked guy and always went out of his way to help team mates. His sense of humor was definitely extreme.
 
#34 ·
Man some of you people are paranoid!

Different cultures have different tolerance/paranoia level towards these gestures. I grab my buddy's butt and squeeze it hard to the point of making him scream like a girl sometimes. I'm not gay (or am I now?!!)

The western culture is waaay too paranoid about physical interactions between men. Men in this continent don't kiss each other on the cheeks because "it's gay", but in many parts of the world that's a normal greeting gesture. Men here are afraid or reluctant to dance around each other because "it's gay" while it's totally not!

Men are even afraid of calling each other handsome because "it's gay"!
 
#36 ·
I do not connotate gay with bad in any way, but gay people may behave in a playful 'gayish' way for fun.

They do it because they like it, and straight men do not like it. Has nothing to do with physical effects.

A lot of men may want to experiment with a somewhat gay behavior, as a symbol of liberated thinking and tolerance. But the case described does not look like that to me.
 
#35 ·
This thread caught my eye because a similar thing just happened to my spouse.

He took our son to see the new X-men movie the other night. While going up the stairs, in the dark, another man slapped his butt! He was shocked but then recognized the other guy as an acquaintance from work and they stopped and talked for a bit. The other guy was just trying to get his attention - not even sure if the ass-slap was intentional or just happened to land there lol.

Anyway, after the movie was over, my spouse still felt the need to go up to the guy and give him a harder-than-usual, manly pat on the shoulder to say goodbye in retaliation for the slap... I couldn't help but laugh about how he just couldn't of let that one go.
 
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#38 ·
Relax. Your boyfriend has sense of humor and is self-confidant in his own sexuality. When I was a younger lad playing ball we had a game called "cup check". You would basically yell cup check and then either hit your buddy in the balls or squeeze them very hard. None of us were gay.... (*disclaimer - I don't think there is anything wrong with being gay - in fact the more gay guys the merrier - it leaves more women for us straight men.)
 
#40 ·
With drinking I've seen ass slapping, ass grabbing, crotch kicks, crotch grabs, farts in face, and countless other stupid things done between friends. And none of us swung the other way, although we've always wondered about 1 friend who would do that crap when he was sober. But everyone just walked it off as if nothing happened (except for the occasional cursing)

Nobody ever went off the deep end unless they keep doing it over and over. But that was when we were younger, at our old age now, you better not grab or kick cuz something else might come back at you ;)
 
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