Family concern and sexual frustration due to husband's behavior

rose · 08-11-2008, 09:01 AM

My Husband is touching my sex organs frequently/randomly, which irritates me. He don’t even bother about the child in the house. It has come to the extent that the child also tries to touch the breast of other women. This embarrasses me, but husband says there is nothing wrong in it. The child is going to be 5 yrs and he is repeating this behavior frequently. Now the relationship has come to this extent that I started ignoring him. I try to be far from him because when I am around, he starts touching my sex organs.when i oppose it he starts torturing me mentally.

need help to deal in such situation.

MarkTwain · 08-11-2008, 10:14 AM

Hi Rose.

Could you give more background. how long have you been married? what is your relationship like in general. Do you let him touch you when you are in private?

rose · 08-11-2008, 10:46 AM

we have been married since 7+yrs. Before we had good relationship in private but due to his this behavior i m losing interest.

MarkTwain · 08-11-2008, 01:00 PM

Has the change is his behaviour been sudden? Can you write more about what his personality is like, and also how he was in the past? you are not giving us enough to go on. His behaviour seems inappropriate, the way you tell it, but I am having a hard time understanding his motives, from what little you have said.

Clearly you need to get to the bottom of this quickly, for the sake of your child, not to mention for your sake as well.

justean · 08-11-2008, 01:38 PM

i agree with MR twain and my concerns are for you and foremost the child here.
i know this is not an easy situation to be in, but its not a normal situation to be in either.

rose · 08-11-2008, 02:35 PM

the change is not sudden.i m seeing him like this after our marriage.but it took 2-3 yrs to understand his this behavior.Before i thought it was his love for me but later it started frustrating me and it became worst when it came to our child concern.

justean · 08-11-2008, 02:55 PM

your hubby has definately not n e boundaries.
or respect for you.
ok the change is not sudden, shouldnt your concern be for your childs welfare. shouldnt you now concerned that your husbands behaviour is no longer normal.

if dad is doing it to you, then its ok for him, what do you want for your childs future.
a little of the topic, but as a nurse i meet a huge variety of ppl.
one client worked with child sex offenders.
i asked her alot because she was interesting to talk to.
i think listening to her this behaviour is long standing from childhood. alot of them in the home were class 1 sex offenders and they were only 12. been raped by mums and dads. and there behaviour continued from what there parents did, because they think its normal. it happend to them , so they do it to others.
maybe your hubby has past issues, but to be putting this on your child and also yourself, your both very open to abuse, as you already are.
im sorry that this is a hard topic for you and i mean no harm.
but putting up with it for this long and now your really living it and knowing it.
you have to get out.

draconis · 08-11-2008, 11:38 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by rose

My Husband is touching my sex organs frequently/randomly, which irritates me. He don’t even bother about the child in the house. It has come to the extent that the child also tries to touch the breast of other women. This embarrasses me, but husband says there is nothing wrong in it. The child is going to be 5 yrs and he is repeating this behavior frequently. Now the relationship has come to this extent that I started ignoring him. I try to be far from him because when I am around, he starts touching my sex organs.when i oppose it he starts torturing me mentally.

need help to deal in such situation.

You are right to be concerned as your husband is the role model for your child and now a days with sexual harassment even in the lowest levels of school this could soon be a problem.

draconis

MarkTwain · 08-12-2008, 05:48 AM

rose-

Again, taking everything you say a gospal -
If I were you, I would give him an ultimatum: He either goes to a qualified psycho-sexual counsellor, or it's "hasta la vista", separation, with divorce soon to follow.

But you have not given us that much to go on, you have not spoken about his personality at all.

If he is in the early stages of becoming sick, he could be helped before he ends up in prison. Yep, it's a tough one.

MarkTwain · 08-12-2008, 05:52 AM

On the other hand, if you have withheld sex from him for 2 years, and he is going out of his mind with sexual frustration, that could easily explain the constant, but inappropriate touching.

In which case, you need to go to therapy together. Together is always better anyhow. The therapist can asses thing far more quickly when he or she can see the interaction between the two of you, rather than hearing it all one sided.