MarkTwain

First you mention her image in her mind, now it seems you have one.

Can you explain what your image is?

hitrockbottom

The images from when she was raped...I can see myself there.
even though it happened prior to us dating..thats really as much detail as I am going into...

MarkTwain

Now I think I understand what is going on. If you read this whole thread from the beginning, so will you.

Interestingly, before you even made your last post, my wife read this thread and speculated that your wife is placing you (in her mind) in the role of the rapist. What is shocking me is that you also appear to be placing yourself in that role as well. Not only that, but it seems that you fell into this role from the beginning.

Human beings amaze me.

draconis

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__________________
www.myspace.com/draconis1973

MarkTwain

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hitrockbottom

Since last sunday my wife has avoided the house entirely. She signed up to help with a class that gets out at 9pm. Giving her an hour to get home, I expect to see her at around 10 before I crash out.
Nope I don't see her till about 12:30 when I wake up from her coming in. She goes out with some of the people from the class(happen to be guys) and doesn't come home till late.

I haven't got to spend a moment alone with her except Thursday night for about 10minutes and she made a comment "your in my space"

Last night I was sick...again didn't see her till around 12:30. Her granny had the decency to call and check on me, but not her.

Today I called her to read a letter I wrote to the school board in regards to her nephews. I asked if she wanted to go play some pool tonight..got the response I don't know.

I planned for us to go to my nephews party this sunday...she is going but decided to invite her ENTIRE family...so yet again no time alone. No possibility that we will be able to talk. Yet again she has seemingly avoided our problem.

I love her but I don't see how we are going to fix things if we are not going to talk, or if she is going to continue to avoid me.

We are living in separate rooms under the same house because she is uncomfortable in my room or sleeping in the same bed together.

She says she doesn't want to get divorced, but doesn't want to talk about her feelings.

Says she wants only me, but can't because she can't put her self through this again.

It has been since May 11th...I feel like we are in a stalemate. I hate sitting here watching her act like a single person and waiting for her answer.

If im being honest...it really seems disrespectful to me. I don't understand why she is acting like this. Feels like I am back in ****ing highshool....

MarkTwain

hitrockbottom-

I just don't know if you can see this the way others reading your thread can see it. It might help you if you read this thread through from the beginning.

You appear to be in a symbiotic relationship with this woman.

What does that mean? It means that you are getting as much out of the weird dynamic as she is. It means you actually want this on some level. You have proved that by this statement to her:
In negotiations, you never reveal your bottom line in this way. If I were doing business with a client and he said this, I would know I could walk all over him.

1)Cast your mind back to when you first decided to go out with her. what attracted you?

2)Did you already know about the rape?

Basically you are addicted to part of this situation. You are also trying to fix her previous rape by making some sort of living sacrifice of your own life. Why?