Therealbrighteyes

Christmas is upon us and I feel a tad melancholy so I thought maybe some humor could make me feel better and perhaps others could chime in.

Worst Christmas gift ever? A dish towel from my in-laws and a trio of scrub sponges. Yup, you heard that right. Hubby got a $900 leather jacket from Nordstrom, I got cleaning products. A few weeks later, another gift arrives for me with a card that said "so sorry we didn't include this in the gift we sent you". I opened it up and it was a 4 inch high carved warthog. WTH?! They had recently been to South Africa and I guess they bought this there.

Best gift ever? A dress my Grandfather bought me out of the then Sears catalogue. I was 8 and he gave it to me on Christmas Eve for me to wear that night for Christmas Eve church service. It was to date, the most beautiful dress I have ever seen. I actually still have that dress, 31 years later. It was magical.

michzz

WORST present ever was a Christmas card she gave me a year into her affair when I thought it was over after a one time thing.

It was very mushy and sentimental--and total crap.

She was fully immersed in vile behavior at the time.

Yet I didn't realize it then. When I got it from her I was very happy, so happy I stashed it in a drawer.

I ran across it a couple years ago after I knew the truth.

It's beyond me to understand how someone can behave as she did and still write such a card. Poisonous, just poisonous a card.

Best present? Can't recall right now.
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Therealbrighteyes

Wow, Michzz, I am so sorry. That's awful. I was trying to find humor in my dishtowel/scrub sponge/warthog gift but I guess I failed miserably. Your gift hands down wins.

Therealbrighteyes

Hey, that reminded me of something my Grandfather bought me for Christmas when I was 7. A Hotwheels race track!! Yes, it was the old school kind that didn't have batteries or anything. You had to literally click all the track pieces together with these rubber hinges and the actual crank to launch the cars was what I can imagine was a hydraulic system but not nearly as sophisticated. The track was a figure eight and if you cranked the knob to hard, the cars would never make it around the bend and launch right off the track.
Wow, great memories, thank you for that Future.

MsLonely

The best: My parents-in-law every year send us a big parcel of X'mas presents. We feel very warm and happy. Usually they buy lots of special Italian food and send to us every X'mas.

The better: Any gift from my husband.

The worst: ??? no idea.

Therealbrighteyes

Italian food for Christmas?!! Swoon, I would die of over eating and sheer love. Fantastic way to go.

MsLonely

Heheh.. they are Italians. Everytime we go back to Italy, my husband puts back his weights!!! It's very hard to resist Italian food also for me, especially my mother in law's cooking! She's a good Italian mamma!! Italian mamma is good & kind in everything! Marrying to my husband is probably the only correct thing I have done in my life.

sisters359

One year my ex/then h gave me a pair of slippers he'd bought at a 2nd hand store, and they were mens. Nice, huh?

Best? When I was 7 we got 2 guinea pigs for Xmas. It was so cool and such a surprise!

major misfit

The worst gift? A dildo. Seriously. My ex (who never bought me a gift for ANY occasion) bought me a damned dildo. It was supposed to be a joke. He said that the size was closest to his. I got news for him. The JOKE is on HIM (not even close in size). Thank goodness he didn't let me open it in front of the kids. Jerk. I never got a freakin' gift (other than a stinkin' robe I could have bought myself) and he gets me a damned dildo. Idiot. He actually freaked out when he'd found out that I used it once. Ha. Ha. and HA.

The best? My Beatles album that I got when I was 6. LOVED that album! And my Chatty Cathy doll. And my Dancerina doll (she was sooo beautiful!). And my Buffy doll (from the old show "Family Affair"). I couldn't choose between these, so I had to list them all.

__________________
The first time someone shows you who they are, believe them. ***Maya Angelou

"But it's only on the brink that people find the will to change. Only at the precipice do we evolve" ***Professor Barnhardt to Klaatu

sisters359

OOOH, I got a Talking Shrinking Violet doll when I was about 5; loved that doll, too. I think the show she was from was "Beanie and the Sea-Sick Sea Serpent." Anyone else remember that show?

major misfit

Never heard of either..the doll or the show. Maybe it was past my "time"?

My sister had the original Barbie, that she passed on to me. I traded it in for the "new" Barbie that had the ash blonde hair, and twisted at the waist (the newest thing then). I grew up to kick myself over THAT decision, lol!

__________________
The first time someone shows you who they are, believe them. ***Maya Angelou

"But it's only on the brink that people find the will to change. Only at the precipice do we evolve" ***Professor Barnhardt to Klaatu

Therealbrighteyes

Okay, I was dying of laughter a few moments ago. I read two guinea pigs and remembered my two, Buckwheat and Peaches and had happy memories about them. Then I get to the dildo gift and choked on Diet Coke for a few moments.
Major, I know that gift was painful to you but the segway from reading about precious guinea pigs to dildos made me laugh.
For the record, ALL men think dildos are the same size as they are. Maybe the pocket rocket. Snort. :-)

major misfit

I was PISSED. I mean seriously...who gets their wife a dildo??? Unless she WANTS one, I guess...I don't know. I can tell you what I REALLY wanted to do with it, and it had nothing to do with me. My passive/aggresive side came out though when I told him I had used it. He nutted. I had my revenge....

__________________
The first time someone shows you who they are, believe them. ***Maya Angelou

"But it's only on the brink that people find the will to change. Only at the precipice do we evolve" ***Professor Barnhardt to Klaatu

MsLonely

What if you buy a dildo back? Will he think you want him to use it on himself?
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major misfit

That was my ex, and he's long gone now. If I had attached a tape (no CD's back then) of the Village People to it, MAYBE.

__________________
The first time someone shows you who they are, believe them. ***Maya Angelou

"But it's only on the brink that people find the will to change. Only at the precipice do we evolve" ***Professor Barnhardt to Klaatu