Re: Silent Treatment
Like I said, in the past, I would always go to him first after one or two days because I couldn't bear the loneliness and uncertainty. After having done that many times, I feel exhausted and I feel resentful that I am always the one reaching out first. Even this time, for someone to take off the ring that easy all the time, it just tells me that he's not really committed. Yes, more and more he acts childish and I can't stand it. People say men like like little boys but the burden is too much on me. If men are like little boys, women are like little girls too. We are sensitive, delicate and hurt easily. We had a long ongoing feud about him and his friends. I felt like I came in second. No matter what he said, that's how I felt. In his attempt to make the marriage better, he hasn't seem them nor had contact in 5 months. But during this time, it seemed as though he was punishing me. Moping around the house, looking depressed, etc...That made me feel even worse, like I came in last not even second so I've been telling him to see his friends. Every time, he said I'm done with them, I'll make new friends...blah blah blah. I know he didn't mean that btw. So last saturday, he received a text from his friend asking to go golfing and I asked him if he text him back and I asked him to please go. He kept acting resentful and spiteful and said maybe, I don't know, he hasn't called me. So at time when he came up to the bedroom, I asked him nicely to find out what time he wants to go and then he started acting really irritated and started yelling I don't want to go and I'm never gonna see them again. I asked him why he's yelling at me and ask what are you trying to do to me? He turned it all around and said I'm not doing anything to do and why do you always act like there's some sinister plan etc. and he stormed out to the living for an hour. When he came back to sleep, I went down because I was still upset. When I went down, I looked at his phone and I saw that he had already reponded to him that he would go and that any time is fine. I felt so betrayed like he's playing mind games with me. So I confronted him. I yelled at him why did you lie to me when you already made plans with him. What are you trying to do to me. And he responded with a very mean tone of voice and called me a psycho and was pissed that I looked at his phone. I told him to just go sleep in the other room because that's what he ends up doing anyways but this time, I told him first to stay away. I felt so disgusted with him. I have never done this before. Oh, and I told him I'm so sick of you. I feel bad that i said such a thing but what I really wanted to say was i'm so sick of the way you make me feel. So ever since then, he locked his phone and is staying away. I don't feel that I caused the argument. All he could have said was yeah, i made plans with him. Simple. I really don't feel that I did anything wrong. I certainly don't feel like babying him. One thing I learned from my short marriage is that marriage is a commitment between two people, not one and marriage can only be intact if two people want it, not one. I think that's how I look at it now. I don't want to divorce, never but if he's already feeling like he wants out and wants to be free, then there's nothing I can do to stop him. He doesn't like confrontation. He can't stand the arguments, ever. How can a couple not have arguments...especially when he and his friends have been the sole cause of them in the first place. If he's the type of person to quit for this kinds of reason, then that's his limit. Everybody has different tolerance level. Divorce is hard. I don't think he would want to go through with that still I feel hurt that he might be thinking about that. But then again, I think about it everytime we fight too but it doesn't mean that I'll go through with it. Even asking him about the ride to the airport, I don't feel like doing because I feel like he's going to think that I'm just coming up with an excuse to talk to him. I'm gonna take a cab. I don't live that far from the airport. The fair will be around between 20-50 depending on what kind of taxi. I know I'm acting like a child too but this time, I want to make him feel guilty.