shane33

Ok the long storey short my wife and i have been togather for 14 years now we have 4 girls well things were pretty bad for a while i was off in my own little world ignoring everyone well one day she could not handel it anymore and started chatting with some guy online soon after she left me moved out with the kids i come home to an empty house and it was a real wake up call so any ways she continues to chat with this guy and he tells her all the right things gains her trust and she he needs help needs to send her some money to have it sent back to him so he can get out of nigeria and come back home to the USA Ya right i new it was a scam she did not. She said she wanted to go see him she was telling him she loved him had all sorts of big plans. He got her credit card number and well guess what money is stolen. well big mess. so anyways we reconcile things but we are on real shaky ground as can be expeted so we are working on things and slowly it starts to get better for a bit. then about two months later i notice she is on the computer alot again real early in the morning and late at night when i am still in bed i asked her about it and dhe said nothing was going on. Ok so be it but it still continues so i get wondering one day she is at work so i broke into her email and find out she is chattin with another guy but this guy we know went to school with him lived beside them for awhile so i read a couple of emails and she is sending him love quotes tells him she has been dreaming about him want to get a big hug from him. says she has always had a crush on him but says he is just a friend and she gets along better with guys than with girls always has. Ok whatever but it continues then i find out she has been taking off for walks by her self at like midnight and she has phoned him and talked to him on the phone at midnight. I am in bed asleep( this guy lives in another town ) and she has been text messaging him also. Well one day i find a 4 page letter she has writen to this guy telling him of her feelings towards him how she is always dreaming about him her crush she has on him invited him to our town for a festival that was on says she wants a big hug from him. well i confront her on it and she is mad at me for reading her private stuff and then continues to tell me that he is just a friend and nothing is going on. I asked her what happens if this guy shows up in town she say he won't well guess what he showed up (with his girlfriend ) now they have been emailing and chattin for a month and a half back and forth love letters and so on now he shows up with a girlfriend and we run into him. awkward to say the least I see them givin each other a BIG hug and she is grining ear to ear and just gitty i am looking at the girlfriend and well she clung on to him and was trying to hold him close i could tell she was feeling weird to so now i am thinking that this girlfriend of his just might be a cover to ease my mind well needless to say i hit the roof and freaked out big time. We fought for a long time about this finally i went on the computer and delete him from everything she had him on. She says i have no right to delete her friends and nothing is going on between them yada yada yada same ol storey so things finally do calm down and he is out of the picture she says it was a highschool crush but it is gone now for good. Ok then we will see this was about a month ago that this happen we have been getting along really good and things were great.so i go on the computer two days ago and guess what he is back on her friends list huh wtf so i confrot her she says she requested him right after i deleted him she was mad that i had deleted him and so she wanted it back. Ok so now he is back as a friend well last night she tells me she has been invited to go to a wedding with a co-worker of hers (female) because the co-worker does not want to go alone. I asked whos wedding it was she does not know. She knows noone there and here is the real kicker it is a 15 hour drive to gett there she will be gone for three days. She tells me she already said yes she will go with no discussion whats o ever with me. after all this stuff that has gone down. I mean everything i had said has happened in the last 5 months. I really freaked out thinking now what is she up to she says i am being irrashanial and i am not being considerate of her feelings. Then shae say it will be a chance for her to see a friend she has not seen since highschool (girl ) her best friend whom she has not seen or talked to in over 15 years. So now i am freaking out and do not know what to think. Please help any input will help imput will help

draconis

It sounds like she is only keeping you around until she finds someone better.

draconis

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827Aug

Let's start with this issue. Why were you ignoring everyone? Perhaps your wife isn't feeling loved. I don't condone your wife's behavior by any means; what she is doing is unacceptable in a marriage. However, I think you should ask WHY she is behaving this way. After looking much deeper into my failed marriage, I have learned to ask WHY certain behaviors have occurred. I then know what I've got to work on if I'm to have a reconciliation with my husband.

From my personal experience, counseling, and reading, I can tell you confrontation is not the route to take--if you want to save your marriage. Also, making demands won't help either. Those behaviors will drive your wife farther away.