Re: Loosing My Mind - Marriage Dying or Dead
Hi, I thought I would also give you the 'wife' point of view, it might help. My H and I have been married for 11 years, one child. I started to loose interest in him when I found myself staying at home and him out socialising, no involving me, coming home drunk at 2, 3 am. He never listened or cared how lonely I felt and never wanted sex. then I started to realise he also tells me lies, little lies, like agreeing to go to the doctors, and saying he had, or going to counselling, making a phone call etc, I find out weeks later that he never did that, he just said he did and gave me details so I'd stop asking. He also withholds money so I get financially stuck. He never showed he cared when I felt down or worried about something. Over time, I started to feel cold when he touched me. I must say that for a good few years, I put up with this and still tried to give him a chance, but like the other lady here, he doesn't care about his appearance or hygiene, so now I actually have cold feelings towards him. He doesn't socialise anymore, is rude to people and criticise my friends. he is emotionally abusive. I am staying with him for as long as I can for my son's sake!! So this is not a criticism to you, but please check what things you have done to contribute, no body is innocent!! I did this for years and we had counselling and nothing I changed has made a difference. But if you self check, you might be able to improve something, or if not, then at least you have tried everything. Sex is an important part of marriage, it keeps the flow of love and energy between the 2 people who are meant to share their lives together 'until death us do part'. So why does she say it's not important, find out why she thinks that? Also, loving, trusting intimate sex keeps us healthy and happy. It keeps us trusting and wanting the other person. after all, if 2 people in a marriage didn't share sex, then they are friends, aren't they? Well, who signed up for a partnership for life then? why let the side down? The boat has to be rowed on both sides at the same time or it won't go forward, it would just go in circles. I hope you take time to think this through, it will be good for you even if you separate. Best wishes.