Where do I go wrong???? - Talk About Marriage
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post #1 of 5 (permalink) Old 01-08-2011, 06:32 PM Thread Starter
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Where do I go wrong????

You know, reading all of these posts on here, listening to friends, I really dont get relationships??

First husband - me 19, him 27 - ok, I was too young - the day I left he had his hands round my throat trying to strangle me - insecure? - you bet! He wanted stay at home housewife and kids - I wanted to carry on as we were - having fun! left him for husband No 2

Second husband - 12 yr relationship including 6 yrs marriage - him 8 yrs older than me - tried for kids - didnt happen - 7 x ivf - 1 ectopic - me bored - met guy 8 yrs younger than me - lust? - love?

No 3 - 10 yr relationship - married 5 yrs - another 7 x ivf - dont get me wrong - I didnt beg for ivf - it just happened cos we both wanted it. Husband No 3 - severe anger management issues - me on the receiving end - pleased when it ended - his choice - was I too scared to end it?

3 x squaddies - coincidence?

All 3 cheated on me.

Looking back - I never nagged, I think I am quite easy going - I find it hard to trust - but I never moaned or nagged?
If things upset husbands - I realised not to do it again - ended up walking on eggshells with No 3 so as not to upset him.

I am hard working - full time job - part time business - independant because I had to be, should I have been more girly and needy?

No 3 said I could cope on my own because I didnt need him - I had to cope, him working long hours, I tried to do everything so he could come home and relax without bothering about 'domestic chores', ok sometimes I couldnt manage to get everything done, he would go to bed early.

I just dont get it, I tried to keep him happy, I was careful what I said and did round him 'cos of his temper, he came back from Afghan and said there was more to life, he wanted to do other things and he was gone.

I am so pissed off that I put up with his crap for 10 years and then he ups and leaves just like that?

Do I want another relationship? - No.

I am happy as I am but I want a family - is that too much to ask?

I look around and people treat their partners like sh*t, no respect - yet they are happy and still together?

Where have I gone wrong?

Star signs - is there any truth in it?, me Leo, with a cancer, capricorn and virgo - all uncompatable?

Why am I looking for reasons?, failure?

Any advice?

Men - you want a hard working, independant woman or not?

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post #2 of 5 (permalink) Old 01-08-2011, 06:47 PM
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Re: Where do I go wrong????

Interesting Leo! Leo women when they're nice to you, they treat you like a king, they're like a cute and adorable cat, but they always remember to sharpen their craws... You know, you're not always that soft... I'm also Leo...
And Yes...you choose incompeticale men.
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post #3 of 5 (permalink) Old 01-08-2011, 06:53 PM
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Re: Where do I go wrong????

we cant possibly begin to help u unravel this. go to a good therapist
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post #4 of 5 (permalink) Old 01-08-2011, 07:02 PM
Join Date: Sep 2010
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Re: Where do I go wrong????

I'd suggest you try out Leo & Aris men.
However, don't dump into marriage again without living together with that person for at least 2 years.
As for babies, you might want to adopt if can't have your own.
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post #5 of 5 (permalink) Old 01-08-2011, 08:06 PM
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Re: Where do I go wrong????

Originally Posted by moop View Post
Men - you want a hard working, independant woman or not?
That might be a loaded question to ask here. I guess we'll see. I hope you realize after living with an abuser (the tip that you walked on eggshells made me think this), that there IS no living with these men. They need way too much help, and few get it. Or enough of it. The next woman is going to get the same stuff you got. And the next.

As to your question...it would depend on the man. My SO absolutely wanted an independent woman. He wanted a partner. So there ARE men who want hard working, independent women. After living with nightmare men (two marriages under my belt as well) I'd like to think I learned a lesson or two. Or ten. I didn't WANT another r-ship. I didn't trust MYSELF to make the right decision when it came to men. I took a chance...more on myself than on him. I think I got it right this time. Do you trust yourself to make the right decision involving men?

The first time someone shows you who they are, believe them. ***Maya Angelou

"But it's only on the brink that people find the will to change. Only at the precipice do we evolve" ***Professor Barnhardt to Klaatu
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