Husband and His Cell Phone
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Old 01-12-2011, 01:50 AM   #1 (permalink)
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Default Husband and His Cell Phone

My hubby has a work cell phone, he has had it for just about 2 years. Before he would leave it on the counter or on the desk when he came home from work. He recently got a new cell about 5 weeks ago, ever since then he never leaves it out anywhere. He either has it in his jacket and at bedtime he has it in his pocket. My cell is not working right now, I remember right before Christmas we were in the city and he wanted me to call home to the kids to check on them, he had to dial the number for me. I have asked him a few times to use it so that i can text one of our children and he sits and watchs me do everything.

I have been able to get my hands on it a few times without him knowing and I can't find anything on there. I even went through all the numbers and nothing unusual there.

I have asked him a few times what is up with the cell phone why do you carry it everywhere, why can't I see it. I right out asked him if he was talking to someone , and he said no, he has a hard time dealing with me why would he want to talk to someone else.

I just don't understand why all of a sudden his phone is clued to his hip!
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Old 01-12-2011, 01:52 AM   #2 (permalink)
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Default Re: Husband and His Cell Phone

You can try to catch something first.
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Old 01-12-2011, 03:33 AM   #3 (permalink)
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Default Re: Husband and His Cell Phone

ok, so you have been thru the phone when he wasn't looking, found nothing, maybe he is just being protective of his new toy.
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Old 01-12-2011, 06:06 AM   #4 (permalink)
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Default Re: Husband and His Cell Phone

I once had a job where I had to carry a company issue cell phone. If I made any calls that were not business related, I had to pay for them. Same for texts. The company went over the records with a magnifying glass. I wasn't making a whole lot of money at that time, so I was always terrified someone would make some expensive call I'd have to pay for, so I kept my phone pretty much glued to me to avoid that. Or, if it's a brand new, top of the line phone and he's been told he'll have to replace it if he loses/damages it, he could be afraid of that.

If you've gone through the phone and found nothing, I wouldn't really worry too much. If you really feel you need to, talk to him and ask him why he keeps it on him like that. Tell him it makes you uncomfortable. But if you found nothing, there's probably nothing to worry about.
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Old 01-12-2011, 08:52 AM   #5 (permalink)
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Default Re: Husband and His Cell Phone

Sometimes when there is smoke... it is NO fire.

Him keeping his cell close to him isn't enough for me to run to a MC. Seeing him answer the phone and walk out of the room. Seeing him texting on it when you walk in the room, and stop once you sit down... those are the signs you look for to determine RED FLAGS. Right now, all you have is speculation. You checked his phone, but he coulda had the contacts erased by now of someone he is chatting with. Or the name "Bob" could stand for Brenda. Just keep an eye out and watch his behavior.
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Old 01-12-2011, 08:59 AM   #6 (permalink)
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Default Re: Husband and His Cell Phone

I can't say for sure since you didn't find anything, but that's always the first behaviour I see in my wife when she has been stepping out. I was able to get her to admit to her latest "indiscretion" by demanding to see a copy of the cell phone bill that she pays every month for me that has all our cell phones on it. She refused so I told here I would go to Sprint and get it myself if she didn't log on and print it since she changed the password on the account. She finally did and since I had knew the other guy's phone number from an email I found it was easy to prove my point.

Getting secretive about emails and cell phones has been a big red flag to me. If you looked and didn't find anything there may be an explanation, there's nothing to find so go lightly.
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Old 01-12-2011, 10:27 AM   #7 (permalink)
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Default Re: Husband and His Cell Phone

I used to be bothered by that because I didn't trust my husband very much. Then I started asking myself if I had CONCRETE proof of XYZ, whenever I suspected something. I haven't--it's easy to let your mind wander, but you have to stay grounded when it comes to things like this.

My DH uses his phone a lot, because he's a social guy and has been a bit lonely recently. I let it go because me asking him about what he's doing, or checking up on him, only makes him push me away anyway.

Unless you have a separate, concrete reason to believe there's something truly going on with him, I'd let it go--maybe he uses it to unwind, as so many people (sadly) do nowadays.

Last edited by newwife07; 01-12-2011 at 10:37 AM.
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Old 01-12-2011, 11:03 AM   #8 (permalink)
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Default Re: Husband and His Cell Phone

You should just keep your eyes and ears open right now. Not saying anything is going on for sure, but just because you didn't find anything unusual, doesn't mean he is isn't deleting stuff. To all of a sudden be protective over something is odd, however doesn't really mean anything is happening,but since you feel something is up, trust your instincts and just stay cool about things right now. Never let another person know you think they are doing something or call them out on it, becasue if in fact he is doing something now he is aware your radar is up and he will just get better at hiding it. Play it cool for now.
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Old 01-12-2011, 11:17 AM   #9 (permalink)
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Default Re: Husband and His Cell Phone

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Originally Posted by trey69 View Post
You should just keep your eyes and ears open right now. Not saying anything is going on for sure, but just because you didn't find anything unusual, doesn't mean he is isn't deleting stuff. To all of a sudden be protective over something is odd, however doesn't really mean anything is happening,but since you feel something is up, trust your instincts and just stay cool about things right now. Never let another person know you think they are doing something or call them out on it, becasue if in fact he is doing something now he is aware your radar is up and he will just get better at hiding it. Play it cool for now.


No need to be paranoid or accuse - just be a little more aware of what's going on.

Any other habits changed? Increase/decrease in sex at home? New clothes? Working later? More time on the PC? Stories about where he's been or has been doing that just don't quite make sense? Was he angry or defensive when you asked him if he was talking to someone?
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Old 01-13-2011, 11:24 PM   #10 (permalink)
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Default Re: Husband and His Cell Phone

I would be suspicious also, it just doesn't make sense to be so protective of your cell phone unless you are hiding something. Do you have access to the phone bill? Do paper copies come in the mail or is the bill online? I would try to see if I could get my hands on the bill to see if there are numerous calls or texts to one number. Good luck, I know how hard it is to live with suspicion and uncertainty.
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Old 01-18-2011, 12:09 AM   #11 (permalink)
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Default Re: Husband and His Cell Phone

Nothing has changed much, there hasn't be sex in our marriage sense march of 2010. He hasn't changed his hair, or his clothes. I did notice there for a while he was showering more often . But he isn't now, he did mentioned that he was starting to notice his body was smelling worse and thought it could be cause he was drinking more coffee.

Other then that nothing has changed, we are not speaking of our marriage right now as he told me he wanted me to move out on the 30th of Dec. We do small talk and that is it, we went to a MC once and he pretty well picked me part for the past 25 years. I went to the 2nd MC today and we talked a lot about my issues that he had brought up when he was there last week.

Anxiety, controlling, anger, it was a good session and I felt good when I came out of there. She actually complemented me being a strong willed women cause of the living arrangements and I have not shown no anger to him. I still clean , cook, baby him like I did 3 weeks ago. She said that is showing self control and self awareness. I'm changing myself and showing him I'm changing.
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Old 01-18-2011, 08:09 AM   #12 (permalink)
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Default Re: Husband and His Cell Phone

Quote:
Originally Posted by Jaded Heart View Post
Nothing has changed much, there hasn't be sex in our marriage sense march of 2010. He hasn't changed his hair, or his clothes. I did notice there for a while he was showering more often . But he isn't now, he did mentioned that he was starting to notice his body was smelling worse and thought it could be cause he was drinking more coffee.

Other then that nothing has changed, we are not speaking of our marriage right now as he told me he wanted me to move out on the 30th of Dec. We do small talk and that is it, we went to a MC once and he pretty well picked me part for the past 25 years. I went to the 2nd MC today and we talked a lot about my issues that he had brought up when he was there last week.

Anxiety, controlling, anger, it was a good session and I felt good when I came out of there. She actually complemented me being a strong willed women cause of the living arrangements and I have not shown no anger to him. I still clean , cook, baby him like I did 3 weeks ago. She said that is showing self control and self awareness. I'm changing myself and showing him I'm changing.
AFter reading all this, methinks that was the understatement of the century...

This is what you should included the first time, because this changes EVERYTHING!!! He has someone else, it all makes sense now. Sure MC may help, and perhaps the fling of his will stop. But for right now, he atleast is having a EA, and probably a full blown PA
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Old 01-18-2011, 08:13 AM   #13 (permalink)
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Default Re: Husband and His Cell Phone

It's funny, out of all the things I go through with my husband, his cell phone isn't one of them. It's an open book, he didn't even want one but I made him get one because of his medical issues since we got rid of our home phone.

He let's me use it, etc., sometimes he doesn't even remember where he put it (we found it in the refrigerator one time from the ring).

So I guess I an say when it comes to the "cell phone" I'm blessed in this area, now if the rest would just work itself out...
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Old 01-18-2011, 12:18 PM   #14 (permalink)
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Default Re: Husband and His Cell Phone

Yesterday after I went to MC he asked me what we talked about I told him everything. He mentioned that he thinks she was digging around the first time we went cause she asked him if he was willing to wait one year before giving his heart to someone else in case we could work through our marriage. He told her he could, he said he felt like she was saying he was having an affair or that she was digging for information.

I know there is signs and I know that isn't is possible. But when I think of my husband and the type of person he is I can't see him doing it. But then I never thought he would leave his family either, I thought we were doing good besides the sex part of our marriage but didn't really think much of it cause we never were really sexual.

All I know is that I'm trying and I don't know how much more I can take. I want to take my kids and leave but I don't incase there is a chance we can get through this. This is very hard for me , I treat him the same way and he is so cold. Specially when he leaves the house he is always" see ya later" I always say goodnight I love you, Good Morning I love you and he says nothing and it is starting to eat at me really bad !
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Old 01-18-2011, 12:23 PM   #15 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Jaded Heart View Post
Nothing has changed much, there hasn't be sex in our marriage sense march of 2010. He hasn't changed his hair, or his clothes. I did notice there for a while he was showering more often . But he isn't now, he did mentioned that he was starting to notice his body was smelling worse and thought it could be cause he was drinking more coffee.

Other then that nothing has changed, we are not speaking of our marriage right now as he told me he wanted me to move out on the 30th of Dec. We do small talk and that is it, we went to a MC once and he pretty well picked me part for the past 25 years. I went to the 2nd MC today and we talked a lot about my issues that he had brought up when he was there last week.

Anxiety, controlling, anger, it was a good session and I felt good when I came out of there. She actually complemented me being a strong willed women cause of the living arrangements and I have not shown no anger to him. I still clean , cook, baby him like I did 3 weeks ago. She said that is showing self control and self awareness. I'm changing myself and showing him I'm changing.

Yeah, this does change things.

Something fishy going on here...

The fact that he doesn't shower regularly just blows my mind.

It also confuses me how many women complain that their husbands don't shower or brush their teeth regularly - I guess I grew up in the wrong part of the country!
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