Originally Posted by stressedwife
I start to worry that this will eventually eat up on our relationship. For those of you who have kids, is this normal? Is it just temporary or does it mean somethings have changed in our relationship? Any suggestion is appreciated!
It will if someone does not break the cycle. It can be temporary but for many men, they will start resenting the fact that their wives are putting them on the back burner , even if it is for the love of thier child. If your husband is a really really NICE guy, he will not likely clue you in to how he is "truly" feeling about things, not wanting to appear "needy".
Any man in love with his wife WANTS TO SLEEP IN THE SAME BED. I used to put the babies inbetween us , we have 6 kids, (5 were born in our 30's) , my husband never liked this but was too nice to say anything to me, he just let me do it, after all, he loved the kids too. Meanwhile he was "suffering" always wanting more sex, more intimacy.
Why not allow the baby to sleep on the floor in your room, or in a Playpen? This would keep you both in bed together and not worry about the baby being too far away.
Do you not have any friends, people from Church, who could help swap baby sitting favors with, or even pay a sitter now & then to get out? Children are not going to die if you dont run to their every whim when they are small. What do they need but fed, diapering, put them in a swing, give them a binky, and a little holding througout the day & a safe environment to not put dangerous things in their mouth. Maybe work on the enviroment , get some gates to help with the worry.
I speak from much experience here, when I had my 1st , I was even worried about a trusted friend watching them who had kids of her own! I was telling her what to do, what not to do, obsessive about safety, by the time I had my 6th, well he never gets the same attention that my 1st one got, not even close, but he is OK, he is thriving. Sometimes we devote Almost TOOOO much time to our kids, and if this is going to take a hit on the marraige, something is seriously wrong.
When she falls asleep, run off to the bedroom, have some fun! Use a baby monitor, shut off the phone. And ALWAYS
sleep together, hold each other at night, make other arrangements for the child, NOT the 2 of you.
I have many regrets about the years I wasted putting all of my babies inbetweeen us at night.
I was lucky my husband didnt build too much resentment.