Gator03

My boyfriend and I have been dating for over 3 years and things have been going really well. I am ready to think about making a more serious commitment to him but we are both still getting our graduate degrees. I will be finished with school in about a year and will start working full time. Is it a bad idea to get married with very little income?? Part of me wants to wait till we are more financially stable to the other part of me doesn't want to wait another 2 years till he graduates law school. Does anyone have experience being married while you were both in school? What is it like? And if you could do it over again would you wait???

swedish

My ex and I dated 7 years (engaged for 3 during college) before getting married. We waited until we graduated, still money was tight when we started out but got better as the years went by. Issues for us were more related to marrying young and growing apart as we got older.

My brother married when he was still in med school. His wife worked full-time and had 3 children by the time he finished his residency and money was very tight...lots of loans to pay back in the end but 20+ years later, they are still going strong and she's enjoying the sweet life of a Dr's wife

I think the more difficult adjustment is when one starts working and meeting colleagues there is some excitement to the 'real world' that the other has not yet experienced so couples can begin to drift apart. The other side of it can be resentment if one is pulling the financial weight and not ok with it. As long as you are close and discuss things openly, it can work out fine.

AZMOMOFTWO

When we got married, I was still in school. He did not go to school. We didn't have a lot of money. If we'd waited it would have been a long time. So don't make the marriage about money, how much you have or don't. Marry if the time is right and you will have all that you need. If you love each other, its fun to do things that don't cost anything like staying in and watching a movie. Find fun in the little things.

blind

I think it simply depends on how you both handle the marriage. My wife and I married just before I started law school. She was working full time as a teacher. I made many mistakes and didn't make her a priority early on. This then became the norm. We are now facing divorce. I don't believe the timing of our marriage was the mistake. I believe it was how we handled it. I didn't make her a priority and she didn't let me know how she was feeling for the past 10 years. It finally led to our breaking point.

If you are waiting for things to be perfect, I doubt that time will ever come. Marriage is about love, meeting the other's needs, and communicating early and often about the good times and the problems. If these things are there, I believe the marriage will work. The question isn't so much "when", but rather it is "how" the marriage is approached and handled by both.

Best of luck to you both. I wish you a long and happy marriage.

Blind

pandaprincess

Just for what it's worth, I think there are a few things people absolutely should discuss honestly and openly before getting married- and money is one of them. If you both sit down and have a frank discussion about how you plan to handle your finances before you make the decision to marry, then I believe it shouldn't be a problem. I would also encourage you to have this discussion in the presence of a couple's therapist or trusted clergy person.