01-24-2011, 10:34 AM
Join Date: Jan 2009
| | My husband quit his job and won't look for another.
I wanted to get unbiased advice, and will do my best to be honest about the whole situation.
I have been married 7 years, no kids together but I have 2, he has 3 from previous marriage. My husband has been self employed for most of our marriage and the last two years that business hasn't been able to help pay for bills so he went in search of a job.
He found one last May quit that one within a week.
He found another one and quit two weeks ago. His pay is based off of commission and his checks weren't that great.
I understand how he can be frustrated for having to have a boss and then the money not being great but right now he sits at home and drinks. He has a dream job, but that would require schooling and we can't afford for him to go back full time right now. We were already 3 months behind on the mortgage when he quit.
I asked him to go to counseling, he won't do that.
I have tried to be understanding about it to see if this would motivate him to do something ... didn't work. Then I went to being angry which helped enough for him to do taxes and say he would get his sh%t together and look for a job, that was 3 days ago, without a resume going out or even a search for a job.
I have become a nagging suspicious wife now. I nag about him getting a job, I search his pc to see what he is doing all day.
I know that is not attractive but I am going crazy .
In general, our marriage hasn't been great. We constantly have arguments of comparing our kids. His sex drive has always been an issue, I can't remember the last time that has happened.
I finally told my mom about the situation this weekend and her answer was to the point, leave.
I broke down and asked if that was the right thing to do? Leave my husband because he is lazy?
Now with noticing how we don't operate as husband and wife... he might be in the room with me but he is at his computer all day and all night. The majority of the time his headset is on listening to music. We no longer sleep together.
I do love him, but his actions tell me he doesn't feel the same about me.
Any advice out there?