Re: My wifes toxic friend is going to cause our divorce!
I think the best starting point with reqards to confronting her about this weekend is starting off with letting her know that you love her, even saying it again. Then bring up the marriage and how important it is, and repeating the fact that it is important to the whole family. Then you can say something down the lines of "you do not want to control her so it is her discision to do what she thinks is best with regard to your love, the marriage, and the family".
Let her respond and she will just go and blah blah blah, it realy won't matter what she says then this would be the time to explain your boundries and what you will not tolorate. As she responds, and let her finish, you can repeat the whole thing over again.
I suggest writing it down... not really worring about what her replies are, just the words that you want to say ....and that may need to be repeated. You seem like the kind of guy that can handle him self, it just that emotion can get the best of us.
I hope she makes the right discision, but there is no guarantee, and before this confrontation. Hopefully you have come to terms with the out come if she decides baddly.
I also suggest you stay away from any threat that you may want to throw at her. If any thing give her a hug and let her know that you will miss her. Most likely she will think its just for the weekend, little does she know it will be the rest of her life.
I guess she will soon figure it out when you help her pack not only for the weekend but the rest of her life. She most likely will not want help b/c of the certain types of clothes she will be wearing, If you know what I mean.
I hope the statement is big enough and she makes the right choice.