the last straw
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Old 09-02-2008, 02:52 PM   #1 (permalink)
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Angry the last straw

for those who havent seen me around. my wife cheated. short and sweet.

ive been hurt for a long time. now i dont wanna cry. its time for an altermadum. she has used up her chances and now im pissed. i find out that dude is still calling her. and yes she is answering the calls.

she shows me the affection and is starting to give me what i need but it seems like she cant let go. well too bad she gonna have to. either him or me. and im really ready this time to pack my s*** and leave. no more doormat and no more me trying to save this. she has to step up. im done.

when i get home we will see the outcome.

there will be no more long posts and no more feeling sorry for myself and my marriage. im done. if she cant let go ill leave pure and simple.

and dude is a very lucky man. VERY
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Old 09-02-2008, 03:25 PM   #2 (permalink)
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Default Re: the last straw

ive been in your position and unfortunately emotions wil go around and around.
they wil continue to go full circle until you have made your mind up.
my first hubby chose the other girl- but not a bad thing- he treated me very badly . like you say you dont want to be a doormat no more. i moved on quite quickly from that relationship - but its because i realised he wasnt n e good and i had to move on, to get my life back.
now my hubby now, ok no affair, but one night stand in april.
in order for us to stay together. he gave everything up. the friends that were no good for him. he stop going to our local pub.
two tales to tell here.
but your tale is like my first - she cant give him up and she still wants u, but its not for love. it other securities.
my first hubby was the same - it took him 2 yrs b 4 signing divorce papers. he just couldnt let go. he wanted her for the new fun and me as the stay at home wife. the house maid and sensible one.
your all that. your the good husband.
in the end though i had to make the break - ok it hurt at the time. it always does.
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Old 09-02-2008, 03:29 PM   #3 (permalink)
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Default Re: the last straw

Just be firm, but lose the anger. You make it sound like she is a better catch than you. By walking away, you show you have increased your own appreciation of your self.
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Old 09-02-2008, 05:51 PM   #4 (permalink)
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Default Re: the last straw

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Originally Posted by iheartmywife View Post
for those who havent seen me around. my wife cheated. short and sweet.

ive been hurt for a long time. now i dont wanna cry. its time for an altermadum. she has used up her chances and now im pissed. i find out that dude is still calling her. and yes she is answering the calls.

she shows me the affection and is starting to give me what i need but it seems like she cant let go. well too bad she gonna have to. either him or me. and im really ready this time to pack my s*** and leave. no more doormat and no more me trying to save this. she has to step up. im done.

when i get home we will see the outcome.

there will be no more long posts and no more feeling sorry for myself and my marriage. im done. if she cant let go ill leave pure and simple.

and dude is a very lucky man. VERY
Calm down, move on.

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Old 09-02-2008, 07:21 PM   #5 (permalink)
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Default Re: the last straw

Rock On - Bro !
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Old 09-03-2008, 10:36 AM   #6 (permalink)
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i tried my hardest last night to walk away. i asked her about the phone calls she says that its someone else calling. that its not him.

i find it so hard to walk away. in my head it all makes sense but my heart is telling me to stay. i want to stay but right now it seems impossible. im afraid of losing the only thing in my life that was right. im tired of feeling this way.

how can i get past it if everytime i look around its something else. i just wanna scream. i can see that she is trying now but i dont know if its genuine or if she is doing it to keep me around.

after the arguement she got up and cooked dinner. brought me the food and sat and watched tv with me. later on she wanted to cuddle with her afterwards. as much as i wanted to hold her and be held i just couldnt get it out of my mind. im beginging to hate her. and resent her.

i dont want anything else in this world but to be with her. im just afraid its not going to happen. that things will never get good or better.

please help me.
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Old 09-03-2008, 10:51 AM   #7 (permalink)
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I know you want to be with her and that you say to yourself that you can look past the cheating, and maybe you can. but if she cant let go of this other guy, then you are wasting your time with her.

I know that is hard to hear, and i felt the same way when this was happening to me and ppl on here were telling me to let go. but its the truth. You dont deserve someone who wont commit 100% to you.

I used to think that there was no one else for me but my ex, and i was so set on her changing her mind....thats the big mistake. If you stay it will only hurt more later. Get out there and meet new people. it will help take your mind off things and give you hope.

Who knows? maybe when she sees you moving on and not sitting pining for her anymore, she will see what she's missing out on.
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Old 09-03-2008, 11:19 AM   #8 (permalink)
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Default Re: the last straw

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Originally Posted by iheartmywife View Post
for those who havent seen me around. my wife cheated. short and sweet.

ive been hurt for a long time. now i dont wanna cry. its time for an altermadum. she has used up her chances and now im pissed. i find out that dude is still calling her. and yes she is answering the calls.

she shows me the affection and is starting to give me what i need but it seems like she cant let go. well too bad she gonna have to. either him or me. and im really ready this time to pack my s*** and leave. no more doormat and no more me trying to save this. she has to step up. im done.

when i get home we will see the outcome.

there will be no more long posts and no more feeling sorry for myself and my marriage. im done. if she cant let go ill leave pure and simple.

and dude is a very lucky man. VERY
Why would you say the dude is a very lucky man for? She cheated with him. Also, you might want to let her know that once you cheat, mostly you or that guy will cheat on each other too, and when it does happen to you, don't come running back to me. Next time she is with this man, and they start for the bedroom, she will ..hmm.. is all of this really worth it?
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Old 09-03-2008, 11:40 AM   #9 (permalink)
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Why would you say the dude is a very lucky man for? She cheated with him. Also, you might want to let her know that once you cheat, mostly you or that guy will cheat on each other too, and when it does happen to you, don't come running back to me. Next time she is with this man, and they start for the bedroom, she will ..hmm.. is all of this really worth it?
what i meant is that i am not able to meet him on man to man terms because he is basically hiding behind his job. and as far as going out there and meeting new people im not ready to do that. i know that she has to be fully commited to make it work and that she has to want it. i get that. we sat down and had a heart to heart the other night in bed. that was two weeks ago. ive seen change in her affection wise. and just thinking about me but ive also seen the same unavailable number on the phone bill and ive seen that she hasnt called the number but her text messages doubled.

i want to believe that its nothing but 5000 text messages in a month is alot. and her excuses for the unavailable is somewhat make sense. i just need to know that she is for me. that this guy doesnt have any hold on her.

since last week i was starting to feel like things were getting back on track. but then i get thrown a curve ball with the cell bill. it seems like everytime things seem to be working out something else comes up. i dread to think what next.

does anyone see any hope
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Old 09-03-2008, 11:56 AM   #10 (permalink)
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what i meant is that i am not able to meet him on man to man terms because he is basically hiding behind his job. and as far as going out there and meeting new people im not ready to do that. i know that she has to be fully commited to make it work and that she has to want it. i get that. we sat down and had a heart to heart the other night in bed. that was two weeks ago. ive seen change in her affection wise. and just thinking about me but ive also seen the same unavailable number on the phone bill and ive seen that she hasnt called the number but her text messages doubled.

i want to believe that its nothing but 5000 text messages in a month is alot. and her excuses for the unavailable is somewhat make sense. i just need to know that she is for me. that this guy doesnt have any hold on her.

since last week i was starting to feel like things were getting back on track. but then i get thrown a curve ball with the cell bill. it seems like everytime things seem to be working out something else comes up. i dread to think what next.

does anyone see any hope
Send his azz the phone bill along with her. Life is too short to be treated like this. I don't know the reason why she started cheating on you for. Maybe that is too personal of a question, but if it was because you have cheated before her, than this type of thing will come back on you. If her excuse is he is a much better lover in bed than you are, than that's a piss poor excuse.
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Old 09-03-2008, 12:00 PM   #11 (permalink)
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Default Re: the last straw

we have both cheated on each other while we were dating. we both forgave each other. well i know i did. but then we got married and i thought everything was ok. guess i was wrong.
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Old 09-03-2008, 12:06 PM   #12 (permalink)
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Hey, why can't you meet the guy? Is he in jail or what? I know some work places make you feel like you are there, but you should be able to meet the guy. Do you know where he works at? If so,
go to his work. I wonder if she told him she was married. Some people don't tell, you know. If she didn't, you should got up there and say.. hi, I'm ___'s husband and I know you are with my wife, and I'll see your azz in court. This might put an end to it all. I know someone that lied and said that her son wasn't her son to be with a loser that she left later anyway.
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Old 09-03-2008, 12:12 PM   #13 (permalink)
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hes not in jail. they work together. different shifts but they work together. whats the kicker is he knows who i am. he knows about me. me and the dude have spoken before. and i explained to him to leave my wife alone. lets just say the job he does i would not be able to touch him. thats y hes lucky.

i hate feeling underhanded or that i have no options but with this guy all i can hope for is karma. for now anyway
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Old 09-03-2008, 12:16 PM   #14 (permalink)
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and the kicker is that this dudes attitude reminds me of me. he just never grew up. i told my wife that. she will get hurt and that dont come running to me. that was like two months ago.
then i hear the i stopped talking to him and that u were right. just to have this crap happen
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Old 09-03-2008, 01:25 PM   #15 (permalink)
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Default Re: the last straw

Look, you need to make up your mind. If you are going to stay with her then stay, and stop doing detective work on the cell bill. If you are fun to be with, her texting will die down on it's own.

If you want to go, then go. Get on with it. But don't sit on the fence throwing stones. I would not check my wife's cell bill. If I thought there was a real danger of me being shafted, I would make a few financial arrangements and then forget about it.

The most important thing is how well you are getting on. Hell, if my wife was having an emotional affair at work without me knowing, and she was so nice to me that I thought we were getting on better than ever, I would not worry all that much. What I will not put up with is being made to feel 2nd best. Then I walk, simple as that.

You are working yourself up to fever pitch on scant evidence, if you happen to be wrong, you will come across as a fool.

I used to work at a place where there was a lot of flirting between married people. It got close to the edge, but really, it helped them pass the 8 hours more easily. I don't think any of them were "at it". Not only that, but they probably went home quite happily to their spouses, after a fun day at work. I would not have a problem with that. Loosen up!
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