I am not sure I understand this communication.
He tells you he wants something from you. You just listen to what he says.
A few times you mentioned that it was tough on you because he 'misunderstood' you. That you had a valid POV that you didn't bring up.
So are you going to comply with his request or are you stuck on your POV and the fact that he misunderstands you?
I can see this being worse in the long run. He tells you how important something is to him and he feels you listening to him and he ends up emotional because he was heard. If you still hold resentment and are not going to meet his request then now it is worse. Before he didn't think you heard him. Now he knows you heard him, but you don't care.
I "don't care"?? Never have falser words been spoken about my relationship.
He knows I care. No question.
I never said I wouldn't comply with his request. Not once.
Just because it's hard, doesn't mean I'm not going to make good on a commitment I made to him.
All I'm saying is I have a valid pov too, but in this particular instance, my role was to listen and understand where he's coming from.
No, I'm not stuck on my pov. I just know that it exists within me, but I didn't push it on him.
Yes, I heard and listened to his pov.
At some point, I hope he can play the role of listening to my pov and "complying with my request" too.
I.e., meet in the middle.
I believe this is an example of seeking first to understand, and then to be understood.
I sought to understand. Is that always easy? No.
Did I have to put aside my own desire to be understood for the sake of it? Yes.
Just because im admitting that it's a challenge doesn't mean I'm fostering resentment.
This is good for the long run, I believe.
It's me pushing myself to be patient, and biting my tongue to hear him and meet his needs. Posted via Mobile Device